Blue Pencil Chronicles

I’m drooling right now. As in Literally.

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There are tons and tons of things I have to do.

Work just piles up by the minute. I have thousands of things on my mind, 99.9% of which are acads-related. It’s hard to squeeze in work-time to my already-filled 8-to-4-21-unit schedule. It’s impossible, really.

Just when I start to peel off the post-it of a completed assignment off the back cover of my notebook, another one comes along. I never see that part empty, it’s always full of post-its. I’m actually collecting the done-for post-its, hoping to do something with them someday. Any ideas? Anyhow, it’s stressful, really. Sometimes I can’t take it anymore. Sometimes.

Heck, this is just laziness talking. Let’s go study!

I tried. But I failed. So many times.
I tried. But it’s just not enough. I gave my best. I thought I did what is right. But it’s not.
I tried. And I tried real hard. But my effort didn’t give way. She was too high to reach. I could never be good enough for her.

Is everything a test? I bet it is. But right now, I’m not too determined to surpass everything.
When will I achieve success? When will I be able to impress her? When will she take notice?
I guess I really just have to try.

I adjusted to what she wants. I changed my ways. I CHANGED! I CHANGED A LOT! But it’s still not enough.

She’s all over my head. Everywhere I go, it’s her that I see, it’s her that I think about. I can’t get her out of my head. Even if we don’t meet, even if we don’t see each other for weeks, she doesn’t fail to make her presence felt. Haaayy… I’m going crazy because of her. She’s all I think about. She’s always on top of my head.

I gave it my all. But she’s really way out of my league for her to notice my little effort.

But I shall not be defeated. I shall conquer it all. I shall do everything! Just to get her nod, just to let her know that I gave it my all.

I hope my efforts pay off. I can’t wait to see the day when I finally finish this god-forsaken race and get through with it all. I hope by then she’ll take notice of me. Just that. And I’ll forever be fine.

You’re way too beautiful gir
That’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it’s over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it’s over

Haaaayyyy Ma’am Chua. I’m not good enough for you. But I’ll try. =)

I just came home from a contract signing with Inquirer Publisher Isagani Yambot (read: I was late! Kahiya!). I gotta give it to that man! He was very down to earth and very approachable. He even had some McDo merienda delivered for us! Haha!

Photo-ops and some kamustahan transpired. He was really talking like our father and us his children (haha tama ang Daddy Yammy Yambot! Pero more like Lolo! Hehe sana hindi nya to nababasa =P). Had a lot of laughing moments, like this one:

JM: Sir sa Inquirer po ilang beses na na-stop ang press?
IY: Umm… onti pa lang, siguro mga once or twice.
Claire: Ah yah I remember sabi ni Ma’am Khan sa US daw twice pa lang na-stop ang press, yung when Titanic sank and when namatay si JFK.
IY: Sino?
Claire: JFK po.
IY: Ah akala ko GMA eh! *laughs*
*everyone laughs*

Haha. He was sooo cool. He even proposed a dinner with other Inquirer scholars. Haha! Looking forward to that.

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Today, July 30, marks my first day as a nineteen year old. Gawd I can already feel the pressure! Haha. But not really.Kumi said last night that nineteen is the most exciting age of all. I asked why? She said it’s because you’re between 18 (when you just jumped into this adult bandwagon) and 20 (when you finally leave the teenage world). I totally agree! Isn’t it exciting? I’m not a girl not yet a woman for real! Haha! (more…)

July 15 has lapsed and the moment we’ve all been dreading has arrived. Finally, the administration was able to make the horse pass through the needle eye. The impossible has happened. And our basic freedoms have all but gone to exile.

As of late, people are awaiting the unfortunate one who gets to be the first “victim” of the ironically-named Human Security Act, or the antiterror law.

The law has met many dissenting opinions, even during its proposition and deliberation. We discussed the first versions of the law in our J100 class, and clearly, there are many provisions that need some brushing up. Some safeguards weren’t enough, while some pretend to be safeguards when they actually are not.

The problematic state to which the law is in right now lies on its very fundamental component: the definition of terrorism. The law so vaguely defines it as “an act sowing and creating a condition of widespread and extraordinary fear and panic among the populace, in order to coerce the government to give in to an unlawful demand.”

By theory we all know how terrorism looks like: World Trade Center, Iraqi suicide bomber, Abu Sayyaf, etc. But to qualify the act to a meager sentence is a bit problematic. The attempt by the law to encapsulate the act in such a definition fails in many aspects.

One, fear and panic are very subjective indicators. One who surprises someone by sneaking up his back and shouting “BULAGA” can very well cause fear and panic upon the person. As Atty. Hilbay put it, these are factors to which one cannot produce a clear and tangible evidence, an element that is needed in the establishment of the alleged crime.

Two, the definition umbrellas numerous crimes already existing in the Revised Penal Code. A rape can cause fear and panic, while a murder is sure to sow widespread and extraordinary terror even to the non-victims. How do we qualify terrorism, then?

According to Atty. Hilbay, we don’t. What is needed is a more rigorous implementation of the existing laws, not a new one to blanket over what is already there.

But the questions don’t stop there. Another reason why this law is very highly contested is the fact that it contains a thousand and one ambiguities.

Take, for example, where it says that ‘bugging’ or ‘wiretapping’ of journalists shall not be authorized (a pretentious safeguard). Why then has Sec. Gonzalez made a very strong assertion that ‘media can be bugged’? Are we on the same page? Or has one of his screws gone loose again?

Several sectors have issued statements seeking its repeal. Sec. Norberto Gonzales said it’s okay to push through with it without an IRR. Legally, according to Atty. Hilbay, a law doesn’t necessarily need an IRR. But with a very vague law such as this, he said, an IRR is mandatory. How else are we going to disambiguate it without a very specific IRR?

All things being equal, it’s quite asked of us to seek the context of the said law. When was it passed? Why was it rushed? What’s the political situation in the country? What are the possible implications of its enactment?

Clearly, one only needs to peek behind the curtains of this one spectacular show. And you all know what I’m talking about.

Much has been said about the issue. Just my two cents. I end with this graphic from Pinoy Weekly and an excerpt from Conrado de Quiros’ Inquirer column:

“I remembered this speech shortly after I read about Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo asking everyone, the media in particular, to rally behind her in her effort to leave a legacy to the nation. I knew I had heard those same words before. I knew I had heard GMA tell the world she was no longer interested in politics but would spend the remaining time she had to do well by this country … When GMA talks of leaving a lasting legacy, she means herself.”

Waaahhh blag. Missed you. ’sbeen so long since I last updated. So many things happened (cliche). So many things I want to talk about (cliche). So many pressing matters on top of the other (cliche). Thanks, I’m a walking cliche, I know.

Drama-rant up ahead.

Okay, so people are teasing me for (supposedly) being a PDI (Philippine Daily Inquirer) Scholar. No, I haven’t got the scholarship yet, I’m still in the “screening” process, if that be the word. However, news travels fast where news is made, duh. So practically the whole journalism department knew about it, even Ate Penny, a senior! Gaadd. That was what I wanted to avoid. I’m not keen on being on the spotlight so much. I’m more of a ‘behind-the-scenes’ guy.

I have no problem with the teasing. Some are even darn hilarious whenever they tease me (take Kumi for example, even coining the ‘Daddy Yammy Yambot’ name for Inquirer’s publisher). I mean, I totally understand how I’d suddenly become the center of attention and, on some rare occasions, the butt of jokes.

(here’s the drama part) What I can’t take is the pressure, the expectation. By being a PDI Scholar I’m forever labeled to be someone ‘great’ or ‘good’ with writing. Imagine the stigma, imaging the feeling. Once again I’m forced to live up to some expectation I didn’t even solicit. If I fail, it’s for shame. I’m not even half as good as some journ students in our college. I mean, there are a lot more people deserving of the scholarship (like Dana and Kath and Tine, I’m not kidding or humoring you). The question is, why me?

It’s a curse, I tell you. And it gets worse.

But then again that’s just me. Just my two cents. ^__^ Let’s still thank God for this opportunity. Thank God for this blessing. =) And work hard to make it work. =D

Yours truly is blogging live inside Pizza Hut Bistro in Galleria via Kuya’s macbook. Grabe, ganto pala feeling ng wi-fi. I feel so corporate and sozy (which doesn’t suit me, may I add).Camwhored. Nuff said. =P

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Whenever someone asks me the one thing that I’m most passionate about, I would always utter the same answer: serving (with) my fellow youth. Through time and time again, I have proved to myself that I belong to this kind of vocation, to this kind of endeavor. No, I don’t plan to be a Salesian Priest who would be ordained to serve the youth. But in my own little way, I know my life has been patterned for that kind of service.I find fulfillment whenever I serve (with) my fellow youth. The young ones bring me energy and motivation. Whenever I’d serve (with/for) them, they never fail to paint a smile on my face after the session. Whether it’s a retreat, a workshop, a seminar or a simple get-together these kids never fail to take my feet off the ground and take me for a flight to never land where people don’t grow old (but certainly they do grow up, right?) and everyone remains a child forever.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I don’t want to grow old. Growing up… well, that’s an entirely different matter. What I’m trying to say is I want to be young forever. I don’t want to be in a rush to be an adult (which I already am, by legal standards). I want to enjoy my childhood (what’s left of it) as much as I can. In 3 months I’ll be turning nineteen, and I’d be closing a chapter in my life soon after that. Work will start pouring in, and I’d be poring my eyes over certain responsibilities I’d have to attend to as an adult. The adult’s life is complicated, ei?

If only I could prevent myself from stepping onto the next level of life, I would. But there are certain realities that I just have to accept. I don’t know how to keep myself young despite all the “adultness” I’d have to battle with. Is there a solution for it? Dear Lord, please help me keep my heart young…

Darn, I’m being too sentimental already! Here are the pics for today. Had a very busy day preparing for our retreat next week. Wish us all of God’s blessings! Being a Vice-Rector is really a tiring task, but, just like what I’ve said to Kuya, I want to give it my all this time. After all, I only get to be Vice-Rector once…

Tama na muna senti! Pic time naman! (Photos after the jump!)

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Just got home from a Days Practice Session this afternoon. I wasn’t really supposed to be there because I have no part in it but as Vice-Rector I wanted to as much as possible see first-hand the progress of my staff. Good thing they were all good kiddies, so I think they’re going to go great.What’s really striking with what happened this afternoon is that I, for the first time, am the oldest person in the group. Gawd am I that old already?! Gawrsh… it was just like yesterday when I’m always the youngest and now I’m the oldest one. Not really a rewarding thought to remember…

However, it feels quite good to be the eldest. Yes, it means I’m responsible to whatever will happen to all of them but somehow within that grave responsibility there is a rewarding thought in the fact that I’m able to be with the people I’m really passionate serving and doing sercive with: my fellow youth. I do hope I could have at least done even the smallest teeny bit for them that would have changed their life forever. I guess that’s what’ll make my life really worth living.

In other news, don’t you think Pacquiao is so overrated?! Bleh. Honestly speaking, I wished for his defeat during his recent bout. Too bad it was a mismatch. That darn congressman-wannabe needs a little taste of humble pie.

And what’s worse about his “victory” are the politicians who, as always, have been flying around like flies and mosquitoes riding on Pacquiao’s fame hoping to get showered with a little publicity for the elections. Mga trapo!!! Matalo sana kayo lahat!!!

Hay naku, nakakapang-init ng ulo.

In any case, here are the kiddos (complete with playing in the McDo playground pa, hehe):

Anna’s Back View

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