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Archive for the “Personal” Category

For a college student like myself, the months of September and March become peak moments in our lives as students.  To most, this is a duration often dubbed as “crunch time.”  Requirements are hurriedly done, studying for exams crammed in one nights, missed classes and a lot of other academic complications that just pile up one after the other.

There wouldn’t be much of a problem if a day has around 48 to 72 hours in it.  But no, things have to be squeezed into a 24-hour schedule that sometimes, even the most basic needs such as sleep and food are being sacrificed in order to complete one’s task for the day.  Suddenly, talking watches become a necessity to wake one up from a deep slumber in order to–once again–do more work. (more…)

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Two weeks ago I found out that I became lactose intolerant.  For several days my stomach was aching and my poop was very liquid.  For a while I experienced a bout of dehydration that made me very woozy throughout the day.

My dad told me I may have amoebiasis.  He made me eat lots of bananas for potassium.  Thankfully, the stomach ache went away. (more…)

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Two years ago, I made a blog post about an old hag.  Now, I find myself feeling the same way I feel two years ago.  Too bad I can’t talk about the matter very publicly.  But suffice to say that the following post generally captures my emotions right now.

*Pardon the profanity in this post, I believe there’re no other words in the English language that can describe how I feel and how some people have dealt with me, so please bear with me*

Some people can be such an ass. Bitch, whatever.

The other day I went to Katipunan to pay our hosting dues for the month. It was my first time to pay via BPI Katipunan and so I was a little bit careful at the time.

Upon arriving at the branch I filled up the deposit slip with the information provided by my host. The deposit slip looked different in that branch, I thought. But nonetheless the process was still the same. (more…)

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People always tell me to do the things that I love and I will be happy.  When I was having second thoughts with my chosen course for college, they told me to go where I wanted to go and in the end all my fears will be put to rest.  When confronting a personal relationship problem, they told me to go where my heart tells me to go, and everything will fall in its rightful place.

CommRes101 Final Paper night.  One of the best academic overnights of my entire college life.  =)

CommRes101: Simply one of the most memorable academic overnights I’ve had in my entire college life

Suffice to say, that little piece of advice from several years ago hasn’t failed me even once today. (more…)

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The wikipedia article on it defines “stress” as the consequence of the failure to adapt to change. Stress happens when two opposing forces interact with each other and the element in the middle gets all the brunt of the collision.  When something seems to be right and it turns out to be totally wrong, that, well, is considered stress.

I am stress personified for the past few days.  I couldn’t fully explain why, or how, it happened, but one thing could possibly be the source:  Thesis.  Grrrr.  I never knew thesis could be this stressful.  Especially if you factor a lot of things in.  Hay.  I hope I can sit somewhere remote, like an old house with a porch in the desert, with extended rooms and recreational spots and elegant patio furniture covers, where I can inhale the sand-filled air and chillax for a moment, taking everything in.

I badly need a vacation.  Please?  Pretty please?

This is a sloppy post which should fill in the gaps of my blog absence.  Just to let you know I’m still here, even if I know you’re not there anymore (drama!).

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I could tell it wouldn’t be long.  It’s barely a month to go, and somehow, in some sentimental way, I’m brooding over it.  I know, I know, to some, it’s not such a big deal.  But to me, for the past few years, a year added to my age means an old phase ending and a new phase beginning.  And most of all, the coming one is crucial because I’d be leaving my teenage years and saying hello to my twenty-something years.  Blech.  Even thinking about it makes me puke.

In any case, just like any other birthday, of course I welcome it with joy and optimism.  Likewise, I’m bringing back something I’ve done on my 18th birthday to which many people responded to.  And, guys, it’s my 20th birthday!  So let’s make it special!  Here’s my partial wishlist for all of you well-wishers out there.  Wehehe.  Ang kapal ko!  =P (more…)

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People who know me know that on my spare time (yes, the little of it), I like to spend time watching movies (either with a companion or by myself through Joaqs).  I’m a suki of torrent sites out there, as well as cinemas whenever a new movie comes out.  But most of the time I busy myself watching movies at the apartment, just by the bed or by the study table, absent the more preferred surround sound or home theater lighting, and just confine myself with me and Joaqs (my laptop), plus a headset.

Lately, the movies I tend to watch were preoccupied with the idea that beneath the fabrics of this universe lies someone–or some thing–who/that writes the grand story of our lives.  There’s Mrs. Dalloway and Virginia Woolf in The Hours, Truman Burkman and Christof in The Truman Show, Harold Crick and Karen Eiffel in Stranger than Fiction, and Horton and the Who(s) in Horton hears a Who (although I haven’t finished this one yet). These movies talk about the eternal debate between the pre-destination of Man and his power to change that destiny, as well as the master pen-writer who weaves stories into our lives as he/it goes. (more…)

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People are overjoyed by firsts.  First hugs, first kisses, first dates, first haircut, first solid food, and the list goes on.  Of course, who wouldn’t be happy with a monumental first, right?

I know I love firsts too but there are certain kinds of firsts I don’t like: first to report, first to dive, first to introduce, first to talk, first to perform, etc.  Haha.  You guessed it.  I hate it when I’m first to take on anything risky, or anything I’ve never done before.  Of course, I know I should be confident, but sometimes my fears and qualms get the best of me.

Just yesterday, I experienced another first: first discussion leader for the sem.  In our ethics class, the professor picks a name from a bag every meeting who will lead the class in the discussion of the homework or of the case assigned.  It’s just so bewildering that even after praying in my mind, crossing my fingers and making a subtle sign of the cross, my name was picked out of the twenty or so names inside the ziploc bag.  Ugh.  I panicked.  It would’ve been alright to be second because at least by then I’d have an idea how to conduct the discussion.  But being the first, I was clueless as to what I had to do.  Add to that my impeccable (dis)ability at speaking in front, which often leads to a lot of stammering and stuttering. I don’t like speaking that much.  I’m a nervous speaker.  Not knowing what to do, I simply followed the flow of the assignment (comparison of two codes of ethics) and thank God for the people who participated (Jeff, Claire, Marj and Dana, I owe you lots), the discussion went a bit fine.

So yeah, even if I was the “sacrificial lamb,” at least the prof gave me a bit of a leeway and understanding, given that I didn’t know much of what to do.

Oh well, being the first can be frightening, but at least I’m already done with being the discussion leader.  Heh.

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Most of us are, at one point or another, disturbed by that one unnerving question that attempts to define our very existence: what am I doing in this world? To some, the answer seemingly comes quick as a passing day, but to most of us who are oblivious to the mysteries of the world, the answer doesn’t come at once, or sometimes, doesn’t come at all. (more…)

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I believe this picture best represents the “ultimate emo” persona. What’s more emo than an unshaved, desolate Jude (from Across the Universe) staring at a row of pinned-up strawberries on canvas, bleeding endless pints of red, imagining each and every piece of fruit as a morsel of his own heart? (a slight mistake: do strawberries bleed red juice, anyway?)

No, I’m perfectly fine. Life is perfectly fine. Actually, it can’t be any more fine than this. But there’s just this stinging feeling I can’t seem to take away (and no, it’s not even the itsy-bitsy trivial problem I had last night). I don’t know. Sometimes this is why a period of emo-ness is quite difficult to handle: coz it’s difficult to explain where it’s coming from. It’s hard to comprehend, that’s why it’s hard to find a solution for it. Just like a wart that unsuspectingly grows on some weird part of your body and unwittingly goes away in a few months, sans the presence of any kind of cure. Sucks, no?

What’s funny (and a bit weird) about this “phase,” if you may call it that, is that I’m not alone in this struggle. There’s Ate Eliza, who can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong with her either. There’s my cousin, Annalyn. There’s Annie, who just came back to school two months after graduating. And a whole slew of other people. So tell me, what’s this, a global epidemic?

In any case, I hope this “phase” ends soon. Sumasakit lang ang ulo ko eh.

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