The other day a professor randomly asked in class, “Which would you rather be, the constant companion or the great memory?”  She’s obviously alluding to relationships.  I was perked up to my toes, having just come out of a two-year relationship.  I was forced to ask that question to myself, because, truth be told, I still don’t know what I want right now.

Other classmates started answering questions.  But I pondered more.  What do I reallywant?  Due to my recent hurts, I told myself I want to be the constant companion, sticking by the person I love ’til the end, ’cause that’s what I expect of that person as well.  But what use is a constant companion when you don’t make great memories anymore, when you’re just bound by your pact to stay together?  Hirap no?

In the middle of the conversation, she asked me, “JM, ikaw.  Are you gay?”  This definitely blew me away, but I quickly retaliated, “Ay ma’am, hindi po.”  She gave out a smile, and asked me instead, “Ah, so you’re feminine lang, effeminate?” obviously alluding to some of my mannerisms that could very easily be mistaken as gayish or effeminate.  Good thing I was on my toes that day, because I was able to utter out a quick yet witty response, “Ah hindi po, ma’am, taga-Maskom lang po talaga ako,” to which the whole class erupted in laughter.

Totoo naman.  Pwede namang hindi ka bading, hindi ka bakla, pero asal-bakla o asal-bading ka.  Kaya nga may babaeng bakla eh.  Mannerisms lang ‘yan, and I think it’s offending to the gay population to stereotype or box them into those mannerisms.  Fluid ang sexuality, at oppressive ang labels.

O diba biglang may critical analysis ng sexuality.  Anyway, going back to the question.  Naisip ko na isasagot ko, sabi ko, “Ma’am, I’d rather be the great memory, but I’d rather have the constant companion.”  Ooooooha meganon.  Best of both worlds!  Totoo naman.  Hahaha.

Ang daya ko daw sabi ni Ma’am.  😛


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