beowulf_poster.jpgBacktrack to 3rd year English and the setting is an old High School classroom with Ma’am Cylie, our English teacher, is talking about an Old English literature that has managed to survive the test of time.

The story tells of a local hero who fought the ghastly beast called Grendel, and how he fathered the son of Grendel’s mother, thereby unearthing a new monster which he needed to defeat in the end.

The hero is Beowulf, and fast forward to 2007 where he is digitally mastered into the silver screen.

There’s really not much to be admired about the story of Beowulf, as it is merely an adventure story that can be comparable (although not to the full extent) to the likes of Homer’s Iliad or the Mahabharata. It is an epic which isn’t really driven by the narrative but by the character that fuels the story.

Which is why something else other than the story itself is needed to make this film rendition fly off the ground. And the producers and directors thought well of incorporating CGI Animation with Motion Capture technology to capture the real movements of the actors then making them look kick-ass in post-prod.

Other than that, just like any other boring films, Beowulf lulled me to sleep.

But the effects are really to be admired. Imagine a very sexy naked Angelina Jolie, in all her splendor and glory (sorry pervs, that’s digitally enhanced). Every character looked as if they got injected with botox in Houston—smooth and tight skin, developed abs and oh-so-sexy bodeh! Haha.

If you’re planning to watch Beowulf I’m telling you, save yourself some time and money and go see something else. You’ll be amazed by the effects but that’s it—it’s like watching a fireworks show where you’ll be wowed by all the pyrotechnics but’ll leave you asking, “What the hell was that for?”

Beowulf—definitely nothing more than just an eye candy.

*Photo from

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