Everybody has a dream. Everyone craves for that one precious thing they long to have. And they do everything to achieve that dream. ANYTHING that could help them grab hold of that one thing which they’ve forever longed for.


As a matter of fact, and I bet you didn’t see this coming, I have a dream. (Pardon this little Martin Luther-King homage) Aside for my dreams for my life and career, I have this one very materialistic dream.

Ever since three or four years ago, I dreamt of having my very own laptop. Even if I was still quite young back then I considered myself a writer. I knew I’d be writing my whole life. I did all things that could help me improve my writing. I told myself I’d take Journalism in College because I know I’m cut out for it. I even wore clothes and prepped myself up to look like a writer. I had it all, save for one. I didn’t have a laptop.

Now to the critical and ideological thinker, a laptop isn’t necessary. The critical thinker would say that a laptop is merely status symbol much like the cellphone, a creation of the upper-class to fool people into the realms of consumerism and make them think that they’re really climbing the social ladder when in fact they’re burying themselves deeper into the pit. The ideological thinker–the traditional writer–would say that the means is not important, it’s the essence that counts. One can write without a laptop, a pen and paper would suffice. The greatest weapon is not the pen, but the thought (and the muse) from which the writer draws inspiration.

But much to the dismay of the critical and ideological thinker, I’m neither one of them. Well, to qualify, yes I tend to think critically most of the time and I consider myself an ideological person. But that’s when attacking issues and controversies that matter. When it comes to my personal life, I’m neither critical nor ideological. I’m realistic. I’m practical. I tend to analyze things based on how it could apply in real life, if it has happened already, or if it’s possible to happen.

So I say to the critical thinker: a laptop, taken by itself, is a helpful tool for students like me. Indeed, by using one, I feed the egos and wallets of upper-class citizens who feed on people’s dreams and desires. But going beyond this perspective, I believe that I can benefit from having such a gadget in more ways I can imagine, which can’t match even the laptop’s price tag.

And to the ideological thinker: It’s 2007. Everything is fast. Everything is instant. And, sad to say, I don’t write as fast as I think. The process of writing one’s thoughts down can be considered strenuous (at least for me). I need more viable ways of writing down my thoughts which tend to be scattered all over the place. Yes, the primitive form of writing on paper is still considered substantial. But for me, who sometimes thinks of a concept while walking in a middle of the street, thoughts could fly away faster than I write ink on paper.

With that internal debate resolved, I knew I just had to get myself my own laptop. Looking at my blog archives, I started to unearth the times I dreamed about having my very own portable computing system.

Before, I thought owning a laptop would solve my problem with our desktop at home. Currently, there are 4 other users of this computer, and for me, that spells trouble. What if I need to write something that just popped out of my mind? How will I be able to beat deadlines when someone is using the PC? How about procrastination (which is a very vital part of my writing process)?

Well, if they don’t want any cussing or cursing or whining from me, they should get me a computer for myself… ALL FOR MYSELF!!! Gawrd… if only I have Php20,000, I’d conjure up Dio and other “Hardware-Frenzy” friends and I’d ask for their help to set up my OWN COMPUTER. So I won’t have to share with ANYONE ANYMORE.

Or a laptop will do good.

I even had delusions of finally having my very own laptop.

Isang laptop!!! My God may laptop na’ko!!! Pa’no nalaman ni mommy na gusto ko ng laptop?! Shet… nababasa ba niya yung mga panaginip ko? Alam ba niyang halos araw-araw kong napapanaginipan na may laptop na’ko?! Grabe akala ko hanggang panaginip na lang lahat yun… pero totoo pala!

At hindi lang basta-bastang laptop ah! Kumpleto! Parang brand new, pero bigay lang daw yun ni Ninong Ben, bumili kasi siya ng bago. May built-in webcam, card reader, CD Burner, at heto pang malupit! MAY WI-FI CARD!!! Shet makaka-internet na’ko nang libre sa school! My God Your God Our God THANK YOU!!!

Ang sarap mangarap, ano? Buti pa ang pangangarap, libre, pero ang laptop, hinde. Sigh…

Panaginip, nakakabaliw
Nakikita nga, hindi naman nadarama
Talaga Namang hanggang doon na lang…

I remember having to borrow other people’s laptops for reports, or just for casual internet surfing. Which is quite inconvenient, for me and for my friend.

Wi-Fi. No I’m not dumb, I know that Wi-Fi is pronounced as “Way-Fay” but us friends are just fond of pronouncing it as “Wee-Fee”. In my professional opinion (if you can call it that), it should be appropriately pronounced as “Way-Fee”; but an entirely different term already owns that pronounciation. Anyway, the subject of Wi-Fi has been brought up because I now lavish in Diliman’s uber-fast Wireless Network courtesy of my bestfriend Lorenz’s laptop. I had a little trouble connecting at first since I didn’t know the proper settings, but a notice posted on the General Reference section helped me through all the way.

Little by little, I did small things that would help me achieve my dream.

Summer’s Dull. I wanna go to the beach. Summer is boring me out to eternity. I wish we have DSL at home (for the nth time…). I wish I have a laptop. Oh! By the way, I’ve already made “pasaring” to mommy to buy me a laptop. Hehe… now all I gotta do is keep it constant so that she’ll be so irritated she’ll buy me one. Or not. I want to go to the GYM. I wanna get thin! Haha… wonder where this drive to slim down’s coming from? Must be the TV.

One day, I thought my dream is finally going to come true

I wonder if mom’s gonna buy me a laptop for my birthday? I gave her a pamphlet with price listings of cheap-o laptops sold here in UP (the cheapest being 12k and the most expensive being 20k). I wonder if mom’s gonna bite the bait. But I thought hard about it, and I don’t think I want any of those cheap-o laptops at all. It’s Economy vs Quality playing the game here, and if that’s the case I’d rather go for the 30k I found in Shangri-La with features of a 50k laptop.

Mom bought Kuya Jay an MP3 player a few months back. She bought Ninay a new cellphone for her birthday last monday. I’m turning 18 and there’s not gonna be a debut party, but is there gonna be…?

No, JM, don’t get your hopes up. Besides, don’t you have it all? (a published article, loving parents, caring friends, opportunities to serve, an understanding girlfriend, thoughtful best friends, a high-end cellphone, etc.)

But unfortunately, all hope faded. And so I continued to crave.

Gaano kalala ang craving ni JM for his own laptop? Hmmm… let’s count the (drumroll please) obsession factors:

  • Kapag pupunta ako sa mall, I would never fail to check out the “techie” section and browse their laptops, hoping that someday I’d run into a real bargain and be able to get mine (haha asaness; geek!)
  • I’d scream at the sight of a real laptop bargain sa school, at palaging mag-uuwi ng brochures para ipakita kay mommy
  • I’d melt at the thought na yung aunt ko bibili na ng laptop (and to think na, arguably, mas well-off kami sa kanila)
  • I’d melt again sa pagsama ko kay Pare kong Ron sa pagbili ng kanyang laptop. (Hmmm… mag-seminaryo na rin kaya ako para i-bribe rin ako ni mommy? Haha…)
  • At eto ang pinakamalupit sa lahat, the other day I actually dreamt na yung little sister ko ay may sarili niyang laptop given by my mom tapos ako wala. (Waaahhh saksakin niyo na lang ako sa dibdib!!!)

It’s worsening, I know. I don’t think it’ll stop. And I think the only cure would be an Acer Aspire 9500 or a dose of Compaq Presario. =P

And I even considered it “My One Ring”.

Anyway, the picture probably gave it away. Yes, my one ring is a laptop. My own personal mobile computing system. Internet at my fingertips. Blogging away in some faraway land, seashore, country, continent or whatnot. It’s been forever my dream to get myself one. I vowed that when I have enough money the first thing I’d buy myself is a laptop. Whenever I go to the mall, I’d salivate looking at those laptop displays with their shiny covers, sleek streamline designs and one heck of a price tag. It’s it. It’s the one ring I was tasked to hold, but everytime I look at it, I’m tempted to wear it–to disappear from everyone’s sight and indulge in all the power, pleasure and a plethora of other things it offers.

Three years, a number of blog articles and tons and tons of hope lost later, the dream has yet to be fulfilled. All because of one road block: money. We’re not at all rich, and I know whatever my mom earns goes into our tuition, our food, and everything else we need. There’s not much room for luxury.

But within that three years of hoping, owning a laptop has gone from luxury to necessity (or created need?). I’m one and a half years short of graduating, which means in one sem’s time I’d be doing my thesis already. Moreover, I’m a journalism major which basically means I’m practically a writing factory judging by the amount of articles I have to churn out almost everyday. Also, we do a lot of reporting in schools. Not to mention I live away from home, which prevents me from using this desktop PC. Having my own laptop would definitely help right now.

And therefore comes the problem. Where will I get the money to buy my own laptop? Surely mom can’t afford it right now, there’s just too much things to prioritize. A basic laptop (with decent specs) costs around Php30,000, a huge chunk of money which neither I nor my mom has right now.

Enter my dilemma. I’ve looked at all viable income-generating schemes I can take on. Taking on a job, even part-time, is out of the question. I’m considering having an e-load business, but it’d take too long before I’d be able to raise a sizable amount of money for my laptop. I don’t have anything to sell since I don’t have anything that sells anyway. And so, I turned to something precious to me, which caused quite a stir in me. I thought long and hard about it. I didn’t want to sacrifice something so precious to me.

But then I began to ponder: sometimes, some sacrifices have to be made in order to achieve some things.

And so, after much thought, I’ve finally decided: I’m milking this cow. Much to the dismay of many people I know, I’m going to monetize my blog in whichever and whatever way possible. I’m still going to post substantial blogs, of course. Just try hard to ignore whatever may not be comfortable reading for you.

I know people would be irked by what I’m about to do. But I need this now more than ever.

Everybody has a dream. Everyone craves for that one precious thing they long to have. And they do everything to achieve that dream. ANYTHING that could help them grab hold of that one thing which they’ve forever longed for.

I hope I can achieve my dream. Then let’s see what happens after that.

10 Responses to “A Neverending Quest”
  1. Andrew says:

    Hi JM, I have to admit that I got my first laptop just for the heck of it. Now on my second, I use it for most of my work-related activities. I simply can’t survive without it, even if I do have a desktop that I don’t share with anyone else. I guess I’m that “mobile” type of person who can’t stay put at home. Hehe. Try monetizing via Adsense, Reviewme, PPP, TLA. Heard that Widgetbucks pays premium dollar, you might wanna try that too. Good luck on fulfilling your dream.

  2. McVie says:

    If I were you, I’d get an Apple. I mean, if you’re going to dream anyway…. 😉

  3. JM says:

    @Andrew I’m trying out every possible means out there. Thanks for the tip! =)

    @McVie I had my hands on a mac for several weeks before, didn’t quite like it. I don’t like the fact that the keyboards don’t “tap” when you type on them. I need that sound. It inspires. Hahahahaha =P

  4. utakGAGO says:

    That was a lengthy post, but nice read.

    I used to dream of it when I oftentimes borrow my bayaw’s laptop to play Chip’s Challenge. Grade 5 pa ko nun.

    After five years ko pa siya nakuha. HAW.

  5. Dane says:

    Ang hirap pala ng situation mo. 🙁

    “And so, after much thought, I’ve finally decided: I’m milking this cow. Much to the dismay of many people I know, I’m going to monetize my blog in whichever and whatever way possible. I’m still going to post substantial blogs, of course. Just try hard to ignore whatever may not be comfortable reading for you.” – Ha? What do you mean?

  6. JM says:

    @utakGAGO Haha buti ka pa nakuha mo na. =P

    @Dane You’ll see… you’ll see…

  7. Tina says:

    I was going over my old laptop specs earlier and truth be told, nahihiya ako ibenta yun sayo kasi ang luma na. As in lumaaa. Haha. Basically, it’s 256mb ddr (check ko, baka sd lang yun), 40gb hdd, pentium 4 2.6ghz, 32mb shared video card. It’s big, kind of bulky, but it works nice. Kaso sira yung lan port, but I’ll throw in a free PCMCIA wifi card and external LAN na rin. At mabigat yun…approx 7lbs.

    Kaso lang nga, it’s quite old, and I have yet to reformat it to see if the speed is okay pa, since the HDD crashed last July and it’s been suspiciously slow lately (but maybe its just because I have a really fast pc at work that I get too used to it). O_o Now that I told you how the laptop is, let me know if you’re still interested. :)) You may want to check out the specs of it online, it’s a Toshiba Satellite A20-S330. Baka kasi masyado na luma for you, and you might not be able to use it din, sayang lang pera mo diba? 🙂

  8. dak says:

    oh oh… apple laptops are high-maintenance… and hard to upgrade. there’s even limited choices of programs…

    but then you can install windows in a macbook e? hehehe… but doesn’t it look pathetic using windows in a macbook. hahaha…

  9. benj says:

    PPP dude. use my referral button on my site, aight? haha

  10. Reseller baju bayi says:

    This is the straight A Neverending Quest | Blue Pencil Chronicles | News and Views of a Journalism Major blog for anyone who wants to move out out some this matter. You respond so some its almost wearying to present with you (not that I really would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new reel on a matter thats been scrawled near for years. Fastidious matter, but extraordinary!

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