Archive for August, 2006

Whew! Talk about getting recharged, I think I overdid it. Practically slept the whole day (with my dad saying his all-famous, very classic line, “Hoy! Hindi ka na bumangon diyan!”) . Aaaahhhh this is the life; warm and fuzzy pillows, soft blanket, cuddly “yakap” and the smell of cold air and rain outside — the perfect picture that paints S-L-E-E-P in big, bold, red letters. Haha!

So, what’s the uppidy-up? I’m always like this, trying hard to blog but really have nothing to say, actually.

Oh! Karen and I are going to host this Friday’s ML (Movement Life, some sort-of seminar every friday by CCC. Really, no one has made it clear what it really is, but it’s what it says it is). The first time I was challenged by Kuya Ju to host the ML, I cringed and hair all over my body started to stand up in salute — I was never the one to do all this “hosting” stuff, even if I do belong in the College of Mass Communication (the craziest college in the Diliman Republic). Ask me to write a ten-page essay on the latest issue and I’ll turn it up to you in no time. But hosting? Nah… never even crossed my mind.

But I accepted the challenge. It wasn’t like me to do these kinds of stuff but what the hey! Let’s take the plunge! (Nestea oughta pay me for advertising space) Besides, I’d be doing it with a friend so it’s no hard stuff at all. Haha, but of course, I’m getting cold feet but I do hope it’ll disappear by Friday.

Time again to recite one of my favorite bible verses:

I can do all things through God who strengthens me! -Philippians 4:13

I just found out, accidentally, that one of my fondest past times is singing videoke style. Okay, so you probably haven’t seen me do so even with too much coaxing on your part, but I found out I only love to do it alone. Especially when I’m at home and nobody’s around, I can totally hit it high (imagine the frustration of the neighbors) and even rock it hard.

But, as always, this little “past time” of mine will remain a secret no one’s allowed to find out and see. (Okay, I know, I just spilled it) One day one of my escapades will find its way on YouTube, so just wait and see… hehe.

It’s the 27th Manila International Book Fair!!! Truly an event that’s anticipated all year by all the bookworms and book lovers out there trying to find a cheap thrill for their favorite books. And I’m going!!! (Hopefully; just looking at that picture makes me drooolll…)

It’ll be held on the 30th up to the 3rd next month at the World Trade Center in Manila (I think it’s near Mall of Asia?) I can’t wait to go and try to find all my favorite books, but hopefully I’d have the money to buy all of them (which, by now, is still a mystery for me). I don’t know where I’m gonna get all the money, but hopefully I could convince my mom to give me some, after all, we’re both book lovers.

Check out the website for more details:

(My brain’s fried) Oh! There’s a thought. It’s midterms week for me (because the whole university had it last week) I had a midterm exam in BC100 (Intro to Basic Broadcasting) yesterday and I didn’t study so I told myself, “I’m ready to fail this exam!” over and over again. Really, I didn’t study, didn’t even flip my notebook until around 15 minutes before the exam.

So there I was, waiting for the exam to start, when all of a sudden Ate Noreen at my back spilled some juicy stuff to us about the exam, and totally told us of all the content (talk about leakage, we totally outdid the Nursing Board). Okay, not all of it, but just a hint on what’ll come out, and I was freakingly elated because she said that not much of the things in the readings will come out — just plain pathetic stuff.

And so when our prof came in (with everyone shouting like we’ve seen a freakishly scary-looking monster, no wait, I’ll consider… hehe) we were all smiles. And it was true!!! 3/4 of the exam was composed of titles of TV shows in QTV, meanings of TV Station acronyms, and all that non-academic stuff (I was totally surprised when she asked who the Three Charmed Ones were). I asked myself, “Is this a midterm exam I’m taking?!” and just thanked God under my breath for the quick escape hatch. Whew, I almost dropped that subject.

On Friday, we’ll have our midterms in Journ101. Now this one’s a killer, and I’m taking it seriously this time. Wish me luck and pray for Wisdom. ^__^

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It’s a series of unfortunate events, JM style. It’s as if all the unlucky eggs are being dropped from the heavens out to hit me right smack in the face.

A few days ago, depression kicked in. It was a very different one, more like longing. It was a different one too because I didn’t choose to wallow in it, in fact, I hated it. It came with a realization that’s so hard to take in. It’s so hard to accept, truly a bitter pill to swallow. But I guess that’s over (for now) because I chose to forget about that dreadful moment for the time being. Just like what I always say to myself (and to some of my friends too) whenever I’m sad, “That God up there is too wonderful to frown up on!” And that would instantly paint a smile on my face. Darn, He’s so wonderful He can turn even an upside-down smile into an upside-down frown (haha, confused?).

My brother told me that our hard disk got corrupted the other day, which totally ruined my day yesterday. Our hard disk for the very long time finally gave up on us. What’s worse is that it’s been slave all along because we had two hard disks. It wouldn’t be a big deal if the other one got corrupted, but this one contained all our files — documents, mp3s, pictures and the like. It was more than a year’s worth of memories, all gone in just a zilch.

Which begs the question, is it still worthy to invest in these technological hooplas you can’t totally trust? Just like what our Journ101 prof always says, “It’s always good to bring a notepad even if you have a tape recorder, because face it, technology fails.” I couldn’t have said it any better. Sigh… it’s not the first time this has happened to me. And everytime it always feels like I’ve lost a very important person in my life (well, what do you know…) Call me crazy or geek, but my files are very important to me. They’re a measure of how much I’ve trudged in this walk of life.

Thousands of pictures, gazillion MP3s, a whole repertoire of published and unpublished articles — all gone. Call me sentimental or whatever, but it’s really really… depressing. (whoo there’s the D word again)

“But what does that mean ‘ephemeral‘?” repeated the little prince, who never in his life had let go of a question, once he had asked it.

“It means, ‘which is in danger of speedy disappearance.’ “

“Is my flower in danger of speedy disappearance?”

“Certainly it is.”

“My flower is ephemeral,” the little prince said to himself, “and she has only four thorns to defend herself against the world. And I have left her on my planet, all alone!”

That was his first moment of regret. But he took courage once more.

Everything in this world is ephemeral. Only our faith in the Lord is unwavering, and so is His promise of Eternal Life.

Gawrsh. Grabe emotional surge na naman. Sorry, sabi ko hindi na’ko magpapaka-emosyonal dito sa blog ko (okay, hindi ko sinabi yon pero you get the drift =P). Shux. Asar. Alam nyo ba, the Sunday after “The Break-Up” (Haha ala vince vaughn at jennifer aniston), nakatanggap ako ng maraming text na somehow patungkol “dun”. Mga quotes sila, at madami sila, in fairness. Kaya nga nagtaka ako pano nalaman ng mga tao yun.

Anyhow, one particular text struck me because I don’t know if it’s true.

“If two past lovers

remain friends,

it’s either they
are still in love,


they never were.”

Huwaw. That really struck me. Kasi I don’t know what’s bound to happen after “this”. Yes, I’ve said we’re still friends, but of course, when I see her, I get this awkward feeling. Please tell me it’s called for because we’ve just broken up and that it’ll take time for things to “go back to normal”. I’m not saying I don’t wanna be friends with her again, it’s just seeing her and being in the same room with her (more so being in the SAME COMMUNITY with her) brings back a lot of memories, regrets and realizations that’s so hard to bear (saying that not to mean that I have many “bad” memories with her; regrets and realizations also come in “good” terms). Of course I know that’s bad but maybe it’s really hard for me. Darn… me of all people. (okay, I have no idea where that came from) I don’t know why I’m so much affected by this. Makes me wanna sing “Same Ground” by Mama Kitchie all over again.

Sigh… pray for me… pray with me…

Dear Lord, let me not leave Your side.


I’m finding my way back to sanity, again
Though I don’t really know what
I am gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don’t want to speak tonight
That’s alright, alright with me
‘Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven’s door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I’m trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one’s you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

‘Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don’t want to speak tonight
That’s alright, alright with me
‘Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don’t want a thing from you
Bet you’re tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

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Wasn’t supposed to blog today but something urged me to (whatever it is, is beyond me). I really have no new news but I just had the urge to unload.

So… what’s been happening recently? Not much. Haha… talk about fooling myself with my own words. So yeah, sure, so much happened, which makes it hard for me to blog because of all the backlog.

But I guess I’ll go through with it. Okay, alright, something major happened, something I’ve been expecting for a very long time. Something I’ve been praying on for weeks on end, something I’ve been discerning upon for many days now. And yesterday, it just intensified to the point of major agony, which forced me to make my decision. And it wasn’t an easy one, as I mentioned, it was agonizing.

What’s the big biggie of the big big day? Hmmm… we broke up. My girlfriend and I, Belette. My girlfriend of two months. Our relationship ended yesterday at around 5:53pm (her count). Of course it didn’t feel good, but I just felt I had to do it. In the course of two months that we were together, I’ve learned so much. About her, and most especially, about myself.

It happened while I was in the library reading a book. I don’t know what pushed me, but I just felt I had to talk to her. So we did (as always, via text messaging) and continued on until I was on my way to a friend’s party.

I decided to call it quits. I found out so many things about myself that could compromise the relationship. For one, I’m too immature to handle such a very demanding kind of relationship. Second, I get caught up with all the internal pressures I experience (dawned on me from nowhere). Third, I believe I’m more of a better friend than a lover. I get to express my love more to friends than to really special people.

So now I’ve established myself. I prayed real hard about it, and prayed to God for strength because I know I’m gonna be hurting her again (how many times I’ve done so, I lost count). But what needs to be done, needs to be done. And I did it, and now I should take on the consequences of my action.

How do I feel? Of course I’m sad. And the feeling gets intensified with all the radio stations tuning in and listening to mellow love songs all the time. But I have to be convicted and stand by my decisions. I must not be swayed by the dictates of my heart all the time. I also have to think. Just like what Leo told us one time, “Put a little brain in your heart.”

So if you’re surprised by what happened, I’m sorry. No wait, that don’t seem right. But I’ve consulted many people about this and prayed real hard to God. If I did a bad thing then God forbid I’m ready to take the punishment. But if I did a good thing, then thank the Lord and glorify His name for enabling me to do so.

To Belette, thanks for the short time we’ve spent “together”. For you, I offer this song that played in the radio yesterday, the day we parted ways:

Thanks to You
Tyler Collins

Thank you for teaching me how to love
Showing me what the world means
What I’ve been dreamin’ of
And now I know, there is nothing that I could not do
Thanks to You

For teaching me how to feel
Showing me my emotions
Letting me know what’s real
From what is not
What I’ve got is more that I’d ever hoped for
And a lot of what I hope for is
Thanks to you

No mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can’t stop me from believing
That my love will pull me through
Thanks to You


There’s no mountain, no valley
No time, no space
No heartache, no heartbreak
No fall from grace
Can’t stop me from believing
That my love will see me through
Thanks to You
Thanks to You

For teaching me how to live
Putting things in perspective
Teaching me how to give
And how to take
No mistake
We were put here together
And if I breakdown
Forgive me but it’s true
That I’m aching with the love I feel inside
Thanks to You
Thanks to you

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We used to joke about you during our first time sa SLA (Student-Leaders’ Assembly) sa busko. August 15 no’n and nun lang din namin nalaman na birthday mo the next day (ang swerteng bata, kasabay ng kapanganakan si Don Bosco!). Coincidentally, hindi lang yun ang event nung mga panahong yun, dahil it was the one of very few times na lumalapit ang Mars sa planet Earth to the point na makikita mo na siya with your naked eye. Judging logically, we therefore concluded na yung noo mo eh lumalakas ang gravitational pull sa Mars tuwing birthday mo kaya lumalapit ito sa Earth. Hehehe…

You are one of the select few GCs I know. (Ano yung GC? Grade Conscious!) Kuhaan ng assignment nung High School, at talaga namang humahataw sa Acads, well, salutatorian pa! Remember the time nung nag-cheat tayo sa Chemistry? We had our index cards in front of us para masagutan natin yung mahirap na chemical formulas, then in the end tayong dalawa lang yung naka-perfect! Victory for some, pero hindi naging maganda feeling natin pareho afterwards.

And who else could forget JMAK? Ang alyansa natin nina Amiel at Mico tuwing may exams. Haha… remember yung bracelet na regalo mo samen nung pasko? Aba eto buhay pa yung akin… yung sa iba kaya?! =P

At syempre pa ang never-ending awayan at ‘di-pansinan niyong dalawa ni Mico na nauuwi rin naman sa batian after a few months. Grabe noh? Andami na pala nating pinagsamahan. And I’m so glad nung tinanggap niyo ni Mico yung invitation ko for Days–truly one of the many things I thank Kuya Jess for.

Ngayong 18 ka na (o sige na, 16 na ang mental state mo) sana walang limutan! Haha… at miss na namin ni Mico ang luto ng ina mo, kaya kita-kits tomorrow sa iyong party! You’re definitely one of my most treasured friends, kahit hindi tayo ganon kalalim mag-usap, kadalas magkita, alam ko you’re one of the many reasons Kuya Jess gave me para ipaalam sa’kin na mahal Niya ‘ko.

So, Jan Kenneth Narag Borce, one blasted (belated) Happy Birthday to You!!! God Bless Always!!!

Just got back from the UP-FEU game and ano pa bang balita? Edi talo na naman. Haha, buti na lang wala pang start ng game I keep on reminding myself, “Hindi na’ko umaasa…” Sure I trust my team and I have faith in them, pero I don’t want to keep my hopes up kasi na-fru-frustrate lang ako (thankfully nag-end ang frustration with AdU).

What I like about going to a UP-FEU game is the crowd. Grabe. Never ko na’ng makakalimutan ang “Regla, regla mo Maroon” na cheer ng FEU (okay, it’s more like Delta, Delta Summa U but it sounds like the former on our side of the arena). And palagi na lang silang nag-we-wave whenever we ask them to, sobrang uto-uto talaga (no offense to FEU fans out there!). Haha… this afternoon drummers ng parehong koponan ang nag-Half Time Showdown, at ang FEU ay nag-ala Ateneo kaya pati yung tono ng “Ateneo Ateneo Ateneo Fight” eh tinugtog nila, so chineer namin! Haha pahiya talaga sila grabe.

And on our side of the Showdown, sobrang kuwela talaga ‘pag drummers ang nag-ha-half time! Grabe riot, kahit trying hard magpaka-pep sobrang kuwela naman ang labas! Haha natawa ako nung nakita ko si Arlo na nag-macho dance! Mwahahaha… bad mental image talaga! Haha… you’d never think na magagawa ng mga drummers namin yun, but they did! Panalo grabe. Especially nung nagpaka-Kengkoy sila nung “UP Fight!” wahahaha riot talaga.

By the way, this afternoon’s game was the most boring of the season.

(NEWS FLASH: Pinakita daw ako sa TV! Mwahahaha… must watch the replay later on Channel 26, mwahaha! Baka ma-discover ako.)

Kinakabahan ako bukas. Pupunta kasi kami kina Kenneth. Bakit ako kinakabahan? Ipag-d-drive kasi ako ni Mico. Haha, no offense pero syempre first time kong ma-e-“experience” na mag-drive kasama si Mico, so I still have no idea. Kung kay Jerome at Ron nga kinakabahan ako, what more kay Mico diba? Haha… ipagdasal niyo kami pareho, bundok pa ang tatahakin namin.

I sat-in (is this the proper past tense for “sit-in”?) on one of Karen’s CWTS classes yesterday, and practically everyone I knew from the School of Economics asked why I was there. Jokingly I’d reply, “Ah, kaka-shift ko lang.” Which is, of course, totally ridiculous because it’s the middle of the sem. It’d be forgivable if it’s the start of the sem, but hey, it’s always funny when you nearly convince someone (which I did).

After sitting-in, there was a Pakain for the Sophies of Econ. Having many friends sa Econ, pinakain na rin nila ako, with Kath blurting out sa serving table na

“O, for Econ Majors only ah! Mga taga-MassComm jan…!”

Of course she was joking, pero syempre namula talaga ako. Ako lang naman ang Journ Major dun, at lahat talaga sila, taga-Econ, kaya gumanti na lang ako with

“Kath talaga o! Sanay na sanay! (kasi siya taga-serve) Palengkera!”

Haha… which, I think, offended Kath, kaya umails na lang muna ‘ko. Sorry Kath! Haha biro lang po yun… ^__^

When Dr. Castro announced her departure last Monday, she said she’d be replaced by someone “younger”. Okay, I thought, and she better be a good one.

This morning, the new professor arrived, and when she walked into the classroom I thought she was a Student-Assistant!!! So that’s what she meant when she said “younger”. Ma’am Tina Calderon is a whole lot younger than Dr. Castro, and I think we’ll have a pretty good sem with her. Har har! I appreciate someone who could speak English properly, that’s why I like her na (not in the romantic kind of way, that’s illicit!)

Iba talaga si God pagdating sa pag-schedule ng activities.

We were supposed to have an outreach sa Org sa Potrero, Malabon on Saturday, the same time as our Music Committee Practice sa Days With The Lord.

Karen wasn’t supposed to accompany me today sa FEU game, because she had a Stat101 class every Thursday afternoon.

What happened is na-postpone yung outreach ng CCC next week, and we had an ACLE this afternoon which cancelled the classes in the afternoon. How great is God na pati schedule mo inaayos niya!

I guess that’s what it means by “In God’s Time”. Yeah… We really have to wait and depend on Him always.

How Great is our God
Sing With Me
How Great is our God
All Will See
How Great
How Great is our God!

LSS na worship song.

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So kahapon na-mention ko nga na bawal na ang any form of liquids and gels sa MRT. Then I mentioned na dahil dito maraming sasakay ng MRT na mabaho dahil bawal ang pabango, hehe. But while watching the news last night, they mentioned na ina-allow na daw ng MRT ang mga nasabing bagay provided they drink the liquid or use the perfume in front of the security personnel. So as it turns out, mas babango pa pala ang MRT ngayon! Haha… kaya kung may pabango ka sa MRT ka na mag-spray kasi kamusta naman ubos pabango mo niyan kung everytime papasok ka sa MRT eh i-spray mo diba?! Hehe…

O baka tinatanong niyo pano ‘ko nakapanood ng TV kagabi eh naputulan nga kami ng kuryente. Well well well, isa lang ang masisisi ko diyan, ay yun ay ang walang kapantay, walang kapalit, walang kasing husay na Panginoon nating lahat! Haaayyyy God is so good talaga if only you put your faith in Him especially in trying times. Kagabi kasi sobrang down na’ko, so nag-pray na lang ako and nag-net. Pagkabalik ko, may napakahabang extension cord patungo sa kapitbahay at voila! May ilaw na kami! Salamat po Lord! You’re truly great! ^__^

REVELATION. Long ago I took a leap of faith. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into yet I plunged myself into it. But I had faith; problem is, I didn’t know to whom I had put my faith in. Was it in God? Was it in myself? Or was it in the people I love? I wasn’t certain. But one night while attending worship service at church, the pastor said, “So we must take a leap of faith. And always remember that God is always there to catch us whenever we would fall.”

God revealed it to me. Within the past years of my life I have been so disconnected from Him. But lately I tried real hard to put my faith in Him. So now I know where I had put my faith that time. It was in God. I leaped, I fell, and look where I am now, nowhere else but In His Arms. And I think I belong here.


That’d be all for now.

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I’m gonna be totally honest right now and say that I’m stirred up into a myriad of different emotions due to certain circumstances that happened in just one day.

So forgive me if ever I’m a little (or a lot) bitchy with my posts, my words, my diction. And thank the good, good Lord if ever I’m able to hold my composure and make it through this post without smashing my head into this computer screen.

That said, let’s move on with the mindboggling details of the day (and the former).

It was our (me and Karen) first time to go to Philsports Arena (formerly ULTRA) yesterday. We marked this day “adventure day” because we practically don’t have any means nor knowledge on how to get to the venue except our intuitions and of course our kakapalan ng mukha to ask the people. We got real valuable clues from friends, though, so without them we would’ve ended up in nowhere nowhere land.

So the game was against NU but even though they’re the under”dogs” of the league, we still believed they could pull off another win (after defeating UST?). When we got inside we were quite shocked because the Gen-Ad section was real high, para kang nanonood ng World Cup! (or pwede ring parang feeling namin kami si Zeus at Athena na nanonood ng battle ng mga Trojans from Mt. Olympus — ganun kataas)

Anywho, we didn’t let the height of our seats get into our cheering the game. It was, arguably, one of the best games of the tournament (not just the season) because it was really heart-wrenching! From 1st quarter to 3rd quarter we trailed behind the Bulldogs but during the first five minutes of the last quarter we cut their lead from 14 to nothing and made our own lead of around 5 points. The game even reached 3 digits in the scoreboard (I believe the 1st time in the tournament) and ended off with a very majestic shot by no less than Martin Reyes (our resident 3-point shooter) hoping to tie up the game and send it to overtime, 104-107. But alas, his shot didn’t make it through the clock, and the Bulldogs bagged the victory.

I don’t know why I don’t feel bad anymore whenever UP loses a game (especially now, hello, it’s NU!!!). Maybe because I’ve kept my expectations at the very minimum, especially after losing that blasted game against Adamson in the 1st round.

Oh well, at least it’s a great game, and that’s what’s important! (+ Eternal Repose to the soul of the father of Martin Reyes who just passed away last week) By the way, UP is now in the bottom of the chart, same with UST. Another by the way, first time ko makita sina Martin Reyes at Migs De Asis sa A.S. kanina! Haha idol!

Have I mentioned how wonderful God is? *laughs* Because He Is! During our prayer time in Kalayaan Dorm this afternoon, Ate Lai asked me if I’m spoiled by God. Well, I guess a little, but I believe it’s in His right timing and discretion anyway, so I don’t know if I am spoiled.

What I know is that He’s so wonderful! Wanna know why?

Yesterday on my way to UP for the Victory Worship Service, I texted a couple of friends. Here’s what I told them:

Guys! Please pray that God gives me patience. Magtu-tutor kasi ako ng lil sis ko mamaya, and I tend to get a little irked and impatient whenever I do so. Thanks!

After sending it to many people I got a reply:

Tamang-tama! About Patience ang ididiscuss ngayon sa Victory! –Anne

Few minutes into the prayer request and voila! An answered prayer. I was so excited to hear the sermon that I arrived at UP pretty early, ummmm, around 30 minutes early.

And true enough, just like what I said to Karen, it was meant for me! Haha! What a wonderful God for moving so mysteriously in people’s lives. The pastor shared his insights and many stories about patience (even showing a clip from Shrek 2 that talks about it). But here’s my favorite part: when he told us of an article about Jigsaw Puzzles. Here’s the article:

Everything I Need To Know About Life
I Learned From a Jigsaw Puzzle

  • Don’t force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.
  • When things aren’t going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.
  • Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.
  • Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.
  • When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see above).
  • The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.
  • Variety is the spice of life. It’s the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.
  • Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.
  • Don’t be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.
  • Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).
  • Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can’t be rushed.

Everytime the pastor mentions a part of the article, I could utter nothing else but “Awwww…” because it was a really helpful piece!

And I thank the Lord God for providing me with patience yesterday. While being so patient with tutoring my little sister (where my fingers are still crossed hoping she passes this exam), I managed to be apathetic with the fight that was going on with my Dad and my Uncle just outside. Normally I’d be really pissed off by the noise, but we just continued with our tutorial. Haha! God really works wonders if you believe in His strength!

I can do all things through God who strengthens me!
Philippians 4:13

Alam nyo ba na banned na sa MRT ngayon ang any form of liquid and gel? Yep. From canned manufactured products to liquids and gels, how paranoid can everyone get? (Super) Well, I don’t blame them, medyo uso nga ngayon ang bombahan sa ibang bansa, pero God forbid, pati bottled water bawal?! Okay, so sabihin na nating wala akong alam sa latest na pampasabog (I didn’t subscribe to Al-Qaeda weekly eh, have you?) pero anong katarantaduhan naman ang magagawa mo sa tubig kundi ang wisikan ang katabi mo nito? Haha… pathetic. Buti na lang whenever I ride the MRT empty and water bottle ko.

Eto pa isa! Bawal na daw ang guwapo sa MRT ngayon, medyo nagsisiksikan na daw ang mga babae sa 2nd at 3rd train kahit maluwag naman sa 1st cart, dami daw kasing guwapo sa “others” area eh. Haha… joke lang. Bawal rin kasi ang any form of gel, lotion and the like. Hala sige… walang sisihan kapag mabaho mga sasakay sa MRT ah!!! (Speaking of, nakalimutan ata mag-toothbrush nung katabi ko kanina, at may kausap pa siya sa phone kaya amoy na amoy ko… yakkk!)

Kagabi. Malakas ang Ulan. Malamig ang Paligid. Bukas ang TV. Bukas ang Ilaw. Nakahiga ako sa Sofa (as usual). At eto ang nangyari:

Isa na namang kaso ng kakapalan ng mukha ang naresolba. Bow. (What can I do? My camera loves me, I know. =P)

Now that we’re done with all the Good News, let’s move on to the “bad” ones. “Bad” (with quotes) because I don’t see them as blessings right now, but please pray that I eventually accept them as parts of plans of God for my life and for those people around me. Thanks.

Ma’am Castro, my professor in English1, is moving on to a “greener” pasture. She’s going to do research for the Office of Vice-Chancellor for student affairs and that tedious task would require her to drop our class. Our class, of all classes, our class.

I haven’t grown to love Ma’am Castro but I appreciate her diction and her trying-hard-to-be-another-accent accent. She explains the topics really well and I’m really challenged by all her questions. She may not give higher grades but it’s totally justified. She may get a little strict but it’s in the appropriate timing. I don’t know, maybe I like her, maybe I don’t, but I can’t really bear the thought of someone replacing her. I guess I just got used to her.

Panibagong adjustment na naman, never kong in-expect ‘to. Oh well, GE lang naman yan, at FRESHMAN English pa, sisiw na sisiw! (haha yabang)

Please refer to above. Remember I said how patient I am even if my dad and my uncle were having an argument last night? Well, they were arguing about money (hey, who isn’t). They were arguing how my aunt wasn’t able to pay her dues on time and so we’re in danger of having our electricity cut off.

When we transferred to my grandmother’s lot last year, they found out that they’ve been using stolen electricity for many years now. Well, I believe they’re aware of it, heck, they’ve been juicing the neighbor of money for decades! With my grandmother gone and only her children left (including my dad), we had the choice of shouldering the payment for the stolen electricity just so we could get a new account for our new house.

In short, we’ve been paying Meralco around 4,000 pesos a month for the damages we didn’t even cause. 4,000 pesos is not small money, that’s almost 3/4 of my tuition in a sem! And so ever since mom has been working her butts off just to pay all our bills and this God-forsaken burden.

They agreed that they’d split up the 4,000 so that we won’t be the only ones to shoulder the expenses. They agreed. They gave their word, their word! They gave their word to their BROTHER no less, to their ELDEST BROTHER (my dad). Bejeezus these people have no respect for their neighbors anymore!

The last month, they were delayed by a few weeks in giving their share. And so my mom had to make both ends meet so she used her own money to shoulder their share. And that meant having to let go of money to pay some other bills, hoping that they’d pay in time, but they didn’t. They were delayed for almost a month! And so was our electric bill!

Therefore, when I came home this evening, our house was dark because our electricity was cut off. They didn’t fucking care if they’d give their share on time or not because they know they won’t be affected. Selfish bastards! Now we’d have to sleep in the dark and in the heat of the night this evening while they lavish in their ill-gotten electricity. Arghhh I’m so mad at them right now, I don’t think I can even bear to look at them, to think they’re my blood relatives.

Darn. I hope God grants me the strength to hold on to my faith in this trying time. I don’t want to get angry at them so I think this blog would suffice in releasing my anger. Thank You, Lord, Thank You.

To cap these all off, please note that I have not made public broadcast of this island (my blog). Therefore, if you managed to come here, it’s only by personal invitation. Sure I’m on the public sphere (the internet) but I tried to keep the audience to a minimum (private). These are my thoughts, my sentiments, my feelings. Please always bear that in mind. Thanks visitors! ^__^

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Just came from the initial staff meeting of the Days With The Lord – Makati Science High School Batch 2. Not many people came, well, that’s expected, but the same fun was there.

Don Bosco Days With The Lord Community started off with the efforts of three people, and over the years we’ve grown to over a hundred already. Okay, we’re incomparable with Ateneo or Xavier in terms of community size (with Xavier having over a hundred batches) but we’re not after quantity naman, more on quality.

Ayun, so as expected, nagkita “kami”. And talagang siya pa yung una kong nakita. Well expected naman yun pero talagang hindi ko kinaya. And what’s worse pa was when I came, the two of us were alone in the living room, no conversations, no sounds at all (you could almost hear the cockroach walk by). So nagpunta na lang ako sa bedroom ni Jason (may-ari ng bahay) at natulog. Rude, I know, but I can’t take it. Not now. I came because I want to serve God, not anything else.

Anyhoo, not letting that get in the way of my service, the meeting went fine. It’s inevitable to miss the old dayzers who are always so makulit and maingay during the meetings. This time, only the new people came, the recent batches. Maybe because of lack of information dissemination, but I think also because of shifting of loyalties and the beginnings of the division of the community into chapters. Sad, I know, but it’s inevitable, I guess.

This is my batch, BuskoDays-Manda 10-5. (Back) Pare kong Ron, (Front from Left) Me, Our Rector Kuya Noel, my best batchmate Leo and our Vice-Rector Ate Kae.

Ito ang Tropang SK (secret ang meaning). Clockwise from Left: Ate Mimi, Kakosang Jason, Kumpareng Eiman, my Rector Kuya Melo, Chodie Marie, Tzuang-Mi Jel, yours truly, Buddy Melvin and cutie-cute-cute Cholo.

To the older dayzers of the BuskoDays Community, you’ll be sorely missed. I do hope the lines that now divide us into separate undertakings would blur as it is daubed by the overflowing essence of Kuya Jess’s love for all His people. Let’s win more souls for God! Let’s split up, gang!

I’d be Vice-Rector for Batch 16 come Summer of 2007. Whoo! Hope I’d be able to do it, for the greater glory of God! (Ad Majorem Dei Gloriem, haha nawala ang pagka-UP-an bigla)

Gaano kalala ang craving ni JM for his own laptop? Hmmm… let’s count the (drumroll please) obsession factors:

  • Kapag pupunta ako sa mall, I would never fail to check out the “techie” section and browse their laptops, hoping that someday I’d run into a real bargain and be able to get mine (haha asaness; geek!)
  • I’d scream at the sight of a real laptop bargain sa school, at palaging mag-uuwi ng brochures para ipakita kay mommy
  • I’d melt at the thought na yung aunt ko bibili na ng laptop (and to think na, arguably, mas well-off kami sa kanila)
  • I’d melt again sa pagsama ko kay Pare kong Ron sa pagbili ng kanyang laptop. (Hmmm… mag-seminaryo na rin kaya ako para i-bribe rin ako ni mommy? Haha…)
  • At eto ang pinakamalupit sa lahat, the other day I actually dreamt na yung little sister ko ay may sarili niyang laptop given by my mom tapos ako wala. (Waaahhh saksakin niyo na lang ako sa dibdib!!!)

It’s worsening, I know. I don’t think it’ll stop. And I think the only cure would be an Acer Aspire 9500 or a dose of Compaq Presario. =P

Morbidly addicted to this song, sorry I just have to post it:

Breakin’ Free
High School Musical Soundtrack

We’re soarin’, flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
So we’re breaking free

You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are
Creating space between us
‘Til we’re separate hearts

But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah, we’re breaking free
Oh, we’re breakin’ free

Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can’t control
Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls
Rising ’til it lifts us up
So every one can see

We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free

Ohhhh runnin’
To get to that place
To be all that we can be
Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
We’re breaking free
Ohhh , yeah

More than hope
More than faith
This is true
This is fate
And together
We see it comin’

More than you
More than me
Not a want, but a need
Both of us breakin’ free

There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free
Breaking free

Were runnin’
Ohhhh, climbin’
To get to the place
To be all that we can be
Now’s the time
Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
Ohhh, we’re breaking free

You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

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I forgot to write how my water bottle dripped all through my bag yesterday and caused a great deal of mess. At the most unfortunate time, all of the contents of my bag got wet–and all of them either had paper on it or was made of paper, which left me so damn angry at my utter stupidity for leaving the bottle cap half-open.

Everything got wet — my wallet, my bible (huhuhuhu), my follow-up materials (huhuhuhu), my notebook, my readings and most especially, my precious precious copy of I Kissed Dating Goodbye given to me by Karen for my birthday. That was the worst damage of all. I immediately texted her to apologize. That didn’t feel good at all.

On a lighter note, (haha, if ever that was dark) God is so amazing (isn’t He?!). As in. Sobra. I guess it was his plan na matulog ako maghapon kahapon and have no time to answer this week’s follow-up material para may ipa-realize sakin.

Yesterday kasi, I was quite disheartened sa Prayer Time namin sa MassComm Target Area kasi wala akong masyadong mai-share about “sharing” my life as a Christian to other people. I reasoned na ‘di pa’ko masyadong open about it, and that I’m striving real hard to get there. Pag-uwi ko, talgang never umalis sa isip ko yung unworthiness na feeling kasi naramdaman ko parang wala akong kwenta.

Then this morning, while reading the Holy Spirit Booklet, God made me realize something: that I should be filled with His Spirit first before I’m able to do these things. And that it depends on the extent of my faith and the maturity of my being a Christian para magawa ko yung mga bagay na ‘yun.

And I’m actually excited to do those things, it’s just that when faced with the opportunity itself, I tend to hold back a lot. Kasi naman nauunahan ako ng hiya at takot. But I know with God’s strength and in His capacity I’d be able to do these things. Oh yeah! (Rock on!!! \m/)

Alam mo yung feeling na parang everyone around you is so busy with all their busy things that they just pass you by, sitting there, all alone, having nothing to do? (naks ang drama ng scenario) Ayun, ganun yung feeling ko. Pero hindi ako depressed or lonesome. Kasi naman… buong UP na yata nagkukumahog sa midterms, samantalang ako walang midterms!!! Anu ba yan! Ba’t ganun?! Ganun ba talaga ang buhay? Hay it’s so unfair! (hahaha I’m the King of Sarcasm)

To all those who’ll be having their midterms next week (especially sa mga may Math17 midterms sa Wednesday), sana bigyan kayo ni God ng strength and wisdom para malampasan ang predicament na ito! Remember, if all else fails, it’s a singko, so work hard to get that uno!!! =P

Akala ko tapos na. Akala ko wala na. Just when I thought I’m okay with it, then here it comes again and just like the first time, it doesn’t feel quite right. (har har, ang dramang intro naman nito, kung anu-ano na siguro nasa isip ng nagbabasa nito)

Si Kit kasi eh! Si Maricris Valderama. Haha, classmate ko sa English 1 (take note, popularly known as Basic FRESHMAN English — haha feeling freshie muli ang lolo nyo). Kasi, si Kit! Asar… tawagin ba daw akong “Kuya JM” kanina?! AY my gulay. It brought back memories nang ma-meet ko ang mga Maksci babies at pinagtatatawag nila ako ng pangalan na yan (na ayaw ko na sanang marinig pa). Grabe talaga, tumayo ang balahibo ko kanina at pramis, muntik ko na siyang isumpa. At ang Kit! Nakangiti pa ang lola mo! Haha… palibhasa inimpluwensyahan siguro ng discipler nyang loka na si ATE Karen. Mwahahaha… gantihan lang yan lola.

(eto pa isang madramang intro) Have you ever felt na parang napag-iiwanan ka na ng generation mo? (Mwahaha segue muna, pause ang drama, tumutugtog ang “Numa Numa” dito sa comshop, at wala lang may naalala lang ako) Ayun. Yung tipong parang sobrang tanda mo na? Yung tipong hindi mo na alam ang nangyayari kasi nga sobrang napag-iiwanan ka na?

Well hindi naman ganyan exactly ang nararamdaman ko. Haha non-issue ‘to eh. Kasi naman. Alam mo ba, never ever pa’kong naka-attend ng debut. Okay, okay, so it totally goes contradictory to my “no formal events” mantra, pero kasi, you have to experience everything! Kahit debut lang. My God. Kung kailan naman turn na ng mga babae sa generation ko na mag-debut, tsaka hindi nauuso ang debut (gastos, jologs, baduy at kakikayan lang daw ang debut). Eh matagal ko na talaga gusto umattend ng isang debut. Kahit nga mga hindi pa 18 pinapaalalahanan ko nang ‘wag akong kalimutan sa debut nila eh (naks parang eleksyon). Tapos bigla na lang akong bibigyan ng:

Ay, ‘di ako mag-de-debut eh.

Haaaayyyy ka-frustrate, believe me.

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What a tiring day this is. (what day isn’t?)

Since tuesday I’ve been nursing this slight headache that seemed to have been caused by my lack of sleep that day. Now I know that I shouldn’t force myself to wake up when I’m stress-sleeping (sleeping soundly because of stress; surprisingly, tuwing stressed lang ako nakakatulog nang mahimbing). What’s worse pa is sobrang hirap matulog nang mahimbing sa bahay, kasi at the strike of 3am gising na si mommy, then 5am si Ninay naman, then sunod-sunod na yun na kahit 1130 pa class ko magigising na’ko ng 7am. Okay, so sabihin nating dapat naman kasi maaga akong natutulog (early to bed early to rise tsaka 8 hours of sleep, remember!), pero mahirap din matulog nang maaga sa bahay, pinakamaaga ko na yata yung 9pm (na dati sobrang late na para sa’kin).

What’s sometimes frustrating pa is the phenomenon na tuwing dadalawin na’ko ng antok sa gabi, biglang lumalakas yung mga ambient noises — yung TV (I always leave the TV on timer, ‘di ako nakakatulog nang tahimik eh), yung pagbukas ng pinto, yung mga naglalakad sa labas, kaya madalas bigla na lang ako magigising. Haha nagreklamo ng tulog.

‘Di bale hopefully (cross fingers) next sem sa boarding house na’ko, and I won’t have anymore sleeping problems.

(Ugh, sakit pa din ng ulo ko, and medyo maingay yung mga tao dito sa computer shop so lalong sumasakit… argh… *puts on headphones and listens to Hush Puppies*)

This morning, I was complaining to a friend how I’ve been experiencing lots of physical pains lately (the headache na nga). Kasi meron akong recurring toothache na madalas sumasakit tapos biglang mawawala. Parang babae, haha! Joke lang girls. Ayun, tapos madami pa’kong kagat ng lamok sa paa kasi sobrang dami ng mosquitoes sa bahay. So tinext ko nga siya sabi ko nahihirapan na’ko, tapos nag-refer siya sa isang verse about experiencing trials. So na-enlighten naman ako, tapos naalala ko yun yung verse reference sa Our Daily Bread yesterday, tapos sabi nya:

Matuto ka naman.

Tapos ang nasabi ko na lang:

Oo nga, puro lang ako basa.

Totoo naman. Our Daily Bread na yata and book na sobrang religious ko sa pagbabasa. Araw-araw, walang mintis. But the problem is, I’ve devoted myself to this devotional yet I don’t live it out and apply it to my life as much as I apply principles I read from fiction novels into my everyday practice. That’s why right now I resolve to really strive hard to put into practice what I learn from it each day.

Sobrang edifying nung MassComm TA Prayer time namin kanina. Ang dami ko na namang na-realize, regarding how I live out being a Christian. Well, I believe naman I could get away with it kasi I’m really new to this thing and I’m learning, but that’s not an excuse. I really want to live Christ out in my life, to share it to people, pero mas kailangan ko pang ma-empower I believe. (Lord sorry if I’m reasoning out)

Dahil tagilid na ngayon ang ating mundo. A leaning lamp post near UP College of Human Kinetics.

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Aherm, aherm. So this is my new blog. Haha… nothing new. Ang panget pala nung layout nung inupload ko na, come to think of it (whoo yabang). Hindi, seryoso, something with the quality. Basta panget. Ayusin ko na lang bukas. Been working on this layout for dayshours and ngayon ko lang siya na-upload. Well, it looks fairly good in my opinion (ehem yabang ehem). Having problems with some stuff, though, pero hopefully maayos ko na naman. (hopefully.)

(kakarefresh ko lang nung layout and poof! Ayos na yung “hopefully maayos”! Wahaha… how wonderful!)

Anyhoo, panget ng concept ko ngayon noh? Haha Anumanster. Curse the one who bought at hindi naman ginagamit!!! Grabe parang mga URL sa blogspot na gustong-gusto mo pero may nagmamay-ari na pala (happened to me dozens of times before).

I digress. Been busy lately, attending ORG stuff at school. Sabi nga ni Karen, wala nang araw na hindi siya umuwi nang gabi. Well in my case, since I don’t have classes on Wednesdays, and I only have one class on Thursdays, I don’t go home late on those days. Pero ngayon niyaya kami ni Kuya Dennis (taga-Still Waters) sa isang fellowship ek-ek church (I didn’t really get it when he informed us) activity tuwing Thursday sa Lagoon. Ah! Ayun! Overflow yung title, apparently parang Still Waters-related activity siya. Eh hindi ko naman agad maibigay ang aking matamis na “oo” kahit na gusto ko naman kasi maaga nga ang tapos ng classes ko tuwing Thursday, eh medyo late na yung activity nila, eh sa lahat pa naman ng ayoko yung naghihintay, so logically speaking, medyo turned off ako at ayaw ko na. Haha… maybe things might change next sem ‘pag nag-boarding house na’ko (eh hindi ka pa nga nagpapaalam kay mommy?!).

So what else is up and what else is down? Well please pray with me on this, sana most of the time jolly na’ko sa bagong blog na’to, kasi doon sa previous andaming nagpapalungkot sa’kin eh, at isa na ‘dun yung layout. Haha, onga pala first time kong gagawit ng overflow:auto function sa layers for my layout kaya… wala lang, first time. =P

Sa mga naghahanap ng sked ng UAAP Second Round (for UP), here they are:

August 13 SUNDAY 2pm
Philsports Arena (formerly ULTRA) – vs NU
August 17 THURSDAY 2pm
Philsports Arena – vs FEU
August 20 SUNDAY 2pm
Araneta Coliseum – vs ADMU
August 26 SATURDAY 4pm
Ninoy Aquino Stadium – vs AdU
August 31 THURSDAY 2pm
Ninoy Aquino Stadium – vs UST
September 3 SUNDAY 4pm
Philsports Arena – vs UE

It’s a bummer how we have to scavenge yet another city para lang makapanood ng UAAP games. Sabi ko nga kay Karen, “Ilan na bang siyudad ang nasuyod natin para sa UAAP na’to?” Haha… as of latest count, mga apat na.

A very loud PRAISE THE LORD to end this post because He has made me realize something yesterday. I loooove Him so much! (I love You Lord! =D) Will tell you all about it next time. (We still don’t have internet at home, what a bummer)

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So this ought to be something new. I don’t know why but I just can’t seem to leave blogger. I mean, I’ve been here the whole of my blogging life, and it just seems wrong if I go on and live in another world. (haha, whatever that means)

So yun. Wala pa’kong layout and so I thought I had to keep this place as neat as possible. (kaya ko kasi iniwan yung dati kasi ang dumi-dumi na. hmmm… pano kaya magiging malinis tong lugar na’to? =P)

Whatever na muna. (Anumaaaan!) Wala pa’kong maisip na ilagay eh although madami namang tumatakbo sa utak ko ngayon (like, tons and millions and gazillions of problems) Haha pero tsaka na muna yun. Hanggang sa muli mga bata!!!

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