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Do you know that my only recollection of the one who sang “Somewhere Out There” is that of Fievel and Tanya of An American Tail instead of Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram? What’s real funny is that everytime I hear this song play on the radio I would quickly begin to question why their voices aren’t squeaky like those little mice of An American Tail, which I so used to love when I was a kid.

That’s it. I’m really growing up. As Ate Odie would put it, nagbibinata. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and every other -lly you could think of. It’s really funny and downright awkward how I’ve come to this realization only now, but I guess I took things one step at a time and it’s only now that the truth is slapped right to my face.

And you know what they say about Truth, it hurts. It goddamn hurts. I always wished I’d stay a “child” and would never grow up, but I guess that’s something out of my control. Even if I’m able to move my 18th birthday to 2056, my physical appearance, behavior and attitude would give my age right away.

When we facilitated a retreat not so many weeks ago, I would cringe the moment the participants would call me Kuya JM. I always tell them not to call me Kuya, since I’d feel old and I’m not that old anyway. One way to notice if you’re really getting old is if somebody, even a total stranger, would call you Kuya.

I don’t want to leave “childhood” and being young just yet. I don’t want to enter the very complicated world of adults where everything is standardized, planned and whatnot. But I guess I could never stop it from happening, unless I want to be “isip bata” forever.

In any case, I’m ready to take things one step at a time. ü


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