Our grandmother would always tell us, “Your mom and your aunt didn’t use to fight like that! They were the best of friends!” But we won’t mind her and continue on our boxing match. I even remember one time when I threw the computer chair at him and missed — and it went straight to our glass dinner table! Good thing it didn’t shatter, or else my dreams would’ve. Being the younger one, I would always be on the lowerhand since he’s got more hand power than I do. And when the brawling ends, I would most of the time be the one left crying.
And when I’d cry, they’d always tease me, “Bakla ka ba? Ba’t ka umiiyak?! Tumayo ka nga diyan!” By then I would wipe my tears dry, stand in composure and put on a pouty face telling them I’m not “bakla”.
I guess that was the time I stopped crying. I was a cry baby when I was young. But when I grew up, I just stopped crying. I couldn’t even cry at the greatest of heartbreaks. I only remember crying during funerals, or farewells. Some people may cry easily at tearjerker movies, but I know I don’t.
It’s society wringing in my ear whenever I would have the urge to cry: “Bakla ka ba? Bakla ka ba? Bakla lang ang umiiyak!” By then the tears would stop welling up in my eyes and back to their ducts.
But you know what I learned? Tears don’t make you less of a man than you already are. It even makes you more of a man than everybody thinks you are! Because when a man cries, he acknowledges his being human, he acknowledges his weaknesses, he acknowledges his imperfetions. When a man cries, he stands up for what he feels, and he does not hide in his bulky physique or deep, manly voice. Crying is a sign of maturity, more than being labeled as gay. Tears are there for a reason. And if you’re really man enough, you’ll find out what that reason is.
So who’s the cry baby now, huh? I know whenever I cry, it’s really special because it’s rare.