*Aba… may background music pa’ko, pang-set ng mood. Haha… for the record, eto ang mga tinugtog nang kanta dito sa Linkpointe Computer Shop: Through the Years, If the feeling is gone, ‘Till my Heartaches End, Now that you’re Gone, Fallin’, and the list goes on. Mr.God, ikaw ba yan?

Today, I wept. After almost a year, I wept. And I didn’t weep because of joy — I wept because of grief, of pain… the pain of saying goodbye to a friend.

I wept. But I wept more because there was no shoulder there I could cry on (I was at the campus at that time). Mr.God really hits you where it hurts the most. He chose the perfect time, the perfect place and the perfect person to make me weep. What’s so depressing about it was that the shoulder I wanted to cry on… was the reason I was crying.

This is exactly the reason why it hurts.
“It hurts, and it hurts more because you don’t know why it hurts. It hurts more because you can’t understand why it hurts. And it hurts more because I continue hurting even though I want to stop hurting”

Does this feeling seem familiar? Yes! this situation happened to the both of us for about a year now for me or 7 months in your case. And this we felt to the people we love most.

You have your reasons, I have my reflections. It has been your choice to tell everything to me those times. Now, I have my option to keep mine today.

I’m sorry for not telling you the reasons behind what is happening to me/ to us all this time. I was afraid that I might break your heart over and over again. Maybe you’re right; I am beginning to be selfish. I am turning to be a monster that you never imagined I would be. But if this self centeredness means the capacity not to be hurt again, I would choose to have one for now.

There is no better way than this. I’m so tired of being hurt. I ‘m tired of rejections. I’m tired of loving so much. You know these things. You know my capacity to love. You know my capacity to be hurt. You know my capability to be part of ones life. I have reached the limit of this friendship. Now I am afraid and preventing myself to go further the limit. I’ll rest for a while my friend. Continue this journey of friendship without me on your side. I’ll try to catch up. If I do, please weep again on my shoulders and embrace me like there will be no tomorrow. thank you friend.

If this is goodbye, then please let it be the sweetest goodbye I’ll ever have. Let it be the sweetest, so that I may Forever yearn for your hello once again. On your shoulders I wept real hard for the first time. Please, let me weep on them again, even for the last time… You were my only friend who let me cry on his shoulders. And crying on them just explains how important you are to me; crying over your loss, over this farewell, just defines the whole point of this friendship. You are precious to me, and if life really takes away the ones most precious to you, then so be it. You know I hate farewells, but for you, my friend, I’m prepared to embrace goodbye…

Saying that you are the BEST FRIEND I ever had, have, and will ever have is an understatement. You were, were, and will always be more than that to me, my friend.

Here’s to a sweet goodbye. And here’s to wishing, hoping, yearning — knowing — that someday, somewhere, we’ll say our sweet hellos once again to each other.

I love you, my friend. T_T

Through the Years
I can’t remember when you weren’t there
When I didn’t care for anyone but you
I swear we’ve been through everything there is
Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed
Can’t imagine anything the two of us can’t do
Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you … through the years
I’ve never been afraid,
I’ve loved the life we’ve made
And I’m so glad I’ve stayed, right here with you
Through the years
I can’t remember what I used to do
Who I trusted whom, I listened to before
I swear you’ve taught me everything I know
Can’t imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more
Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, I’ve always been so glad
To be with you … through the years
It’s better everyday, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as it’s okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years
Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belonged
Right here with you … through the years
I never had a doubt, we’d always work things out
I’ve learned what love’s about, by loving you
Through the years
Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You’ve turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you … through the years
It’s better everyday, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as it’s okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years…

It may end here today, but I know it will start again somewhere tomorrow.

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