(Please don’t mind these pictures, I just missed putting them on my blog. Hehe…)
You don’t deserve someone like me… you deserve someone better.
Yesterday was a revelation. I found out that one of my elementary classmates did have a crush on me. Okay, so we’re in a little bit of a time difference here, but the thing is, even though it was only now that I learned about it, it still concerns me because: (1) she’s here in UP, (2) she was one of my classmates last sem and (3) a friend of mine told me she’s still attracted to me. No wonder I always get the special treatment! No wonder she always wants to come along and have lunch with me! No wonder I receive all those unsolicited favors from her! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her or resent her or loathe her or something. I’m just… dazed and confused.
For the record, I never knew how to react whenever somebody confesses affection for me. I don’t know if I should “crush” her back or just ignore her. The former would seem to be a little bit insincere on my part, and the latter would make me look ruthless, cruel and harsh. Great, not another dillema to think about. Now I wish I hadn’t known.
And I can’t even begin to think how she’d react if she finds out my darkest, deepest secret of all. She’ll be devastated, that’s for sure, and the last thing I want to do is to hurt somebody. Great, my being too nosy got the best of me, yet again.
Now I begin to wonder what’s with me these days. I don’t think I deserve such affection. One dirty, ruthless creature like me is being liked by somebody? I can’t say I’m not self-gratified (yet again). Urrrgghhh… that’s yet another reason why I’m in so much trouble now. I don’t know what to do! I’d be damned if I do anything, and I’d be damned if I don’t do anything. Agghh, why all this trouble?
I never should have asked in the first place. Everything was fine when I didn’t know.
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