I hate it when reality slaps me right in the face and I keep on ignoring it.
It was only recently that it hit me: I am alone. In a place of cultural diversity like this university, I never realized I’d feel this alone. The only refuge I go to wherein I find myself again is this comfy computer shop near the Shopping Center. In here, I can connect with all my friends, most of them outside of College.
It was only recently that I realized how alone I am. I walk alone, I eat alone, I surf the net alone. I know I have classmates but they have other friends and classmates too. Now this is the catch for “academic freedom” employed in this university. Now it hits me. I shouldn’t let my schooling interfere with my education.
But I really find it hard to find a companion. Not all my blockmates’ schedules jive with mine. So do my classmates’. It was still bearable during the first sem since I had Mico (a High School classmate) with me most of the time. But now, I guess I’m out of my comfort zone. And I’m not liking it (who does?).
This situation has led me to regret my choice in entering this university. I thought I’ll have more fun meeting new people. I guess I’m better off with my old friends (if ever I still have them). Sometimes I just envy my High School friends because they’re fine on their own college with their block systems, airconditioned classrooms and all that. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t pursue my scholarship in La Salle, or my application in Mapua. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even here. I was blinded by the disillusionment of this place.
Sigh… I can only stop and think: what goes around, comes around.
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