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I had a very heated argument with someone the other day. Of all the people, I never imagined I’d be arguing with this one. We never had these kinds of arguments before, but the other day, we both just exploded.

I can’t deny the fact that I was hurt by what this friend of mine said. I also can’t deny the fact that I was a bit pushy then. I was already intruding my friend’s life with my domineering attitude. I know it was a bit off, but I only wanted to help. Now I can again attest to what Fr. Mon said in one of his homilies: kung sino pa yung nagmamagandang-loob, siya pa yung lumalabas na masama. It hurts but I guess that’s life.

I have already forgiven this friend of mine. But the havoc the argument wrecked on my heart is still quite there. I have forgiven but forgiveness doesn’t always come with forgetting. The pain is still there. In fact, my heart was so broken I don’t think it even functions right now. I have lost the will to use my heart, to care, to be compassionate, to help. I just hope I get my heart back again in one piece.

Sad. Don’t worry friend, as I’ve said I’ve already forgiven you. And I hope you’ve already forgiven me, too. It’s just that the pain doesn’t fade away that fast. I hope you give me time. The pain still lingers on and on…

This morning, I woke up terribly early. I only had around four hours of sleep, and I found it hard to go back to it. So, I just wrote something in my planner:

Jan. 11 2006

I learned so many things in just one night.

One, that no matter how much you want to help someone, as long as it’s not asked of you, it could only mean one of two things: first, that you volunteer for that act; second, that you are putting your nose into somebody else’s business.

Two, that no matter how close (or open) you are to a certain person, there are just some parts of his/her life that you can’t touch (or know, for that matter).

And three, that the biggest of arguments do happen between the closest of friends.

My heart is so fragile right now. Don’t upset me, I’m taking things a little bit too seriously this time.”

3 Responses to “Fixing a Broken Heart”
  1. True Friend.ü says:

    I do not worry much about our present condition. We know each other well (or at least the things we want to share to each other.)ü I know how to make you happy and I know how to hurt you. You’ll soon understand the things that Im doing. If you only knew my intention of hurting you… I think you’ll understand me better. This is not really for me, but for someone who needs you more than I do. I know that no matter what happens to this friendship at present, we’ll be here for each other in the end.ü Teker. Smile FRIEND.ü

  2. JM Tuazon says:

    Taena naman eh! Sana ipaintindi mo sa’kin diba?! Palagi mo na lang dina-down ang sarili mo. Palagi mo na lang sinasabi na mas may kailangan sa’kin na tao. Eh taena bat pa tayo naging magkaibigan, ha?! A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED!. We’re there for each other, and I think we should always be there for each other. Do you want to know what I feel about all these?! I feel that you’re edging me out of your life. Yes, oo, feeling ko inaalis mo na’ko sa buhay mo. Ayaw mo kasing ipaintindi sa’kin kung ano-anong mga kalokohan ang pinaggagagawa mo. AYAW MO KASING SABIHIN SA’KIN KASI TAKOT KA NA MA-REJECT. Eh taena ako din naman takot ma-reject ah?! Lahat naman ng tao takot ma-reject. I feel so violated that you’d think na ire-reject kita. Ganun ba tingin mo sa’kin? Sana sabihin mo. Hindi talaga kasi kita maintindihan eh. After all the years, of all the people, ako pa ang mag-rereject sayo? Friend, I don’t have the capability MORESO the RIGHT na i-reject ka. Taena hindi ako Diyos para i-judge ka sa mga maling ginawa mo. All I ask of you is to let me be a friend to you. Ewan ko kung mapapagbigyan mo yun. Taena gusto ko umiyak!!!

    :( (

  3. Anonymous says:

    di ba being a friend din ang you respect what the other person requests kahit na di mo maintindihan?

    helping another person, even if you think he needs it but the person doesn’t want it, borders on selflessness and selfishness.

    you really want to be a friend? then just be there and don’t leave the person.

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