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Archive for December, 2004

I’ve been wanting to do something like this for the whole week: make a yearend report. Just like the many TV and Radio stations out there who review the oh-so-many incidents of the past year, I wanted to hitch a ride in the bandwagon.

Sadly, though, I’m not in the mood. I have this very sad feeling inside of me that I’m finding real hard to fathom. It’s like reminiscing the year that has gone by may seem inevitable, but may also seem to be a real daunting task for me to do.

So I won’t push it. After all, I won’t be making so much literary sense by pushing myself to do something I can’t even do.

All I know is, this year has been full of discoveries about myself. About my personality, my FAITH, my behavior, my abilities, my weaknesses, and many others. If I were to name this year, I’d call it my “Discovery Year”. There were so many things that happened this year that contributed into my finding out more about myself.

But, just like what Kuya Rick and Ate Riz have said, it’s not all about me. Frankly speaking, after all reflections, realizations and deep thinking, I’ve got to say… this year has been all about HIM.

Salamat, Kuya Jess! Kita kits sa 2005! ^_^

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I wonder why I didn’t even feel it’s Christmas. It passed by just like an ordinary day.

Truly, you can never really feel the spirit of Christmas when you have no peace inside your heart.

I feel so mad, angry, disappointed. I feel confused, bedazzled and dumbfounded. I feel restless, tired and weak. I feel lost, nothing, and abyss. And I also feel selfish.

Kuya Jess, I don’t know what to do… honestly. Why, of all times of the year, did you give this to me this day? What should I do? Why am I acting this way?

So many questions… if only God could answer. Help, please?

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Hi! Okay let’s do this real quick.

Am in GB3 right now, waiting for “Spirit of the Glass” to start. This is my 3rd movie for the afternoon, before it I’ve seen Lastikman and Sigaw. Will do reviews when time arrives. Will watch Enteng Kabisote with friends tomorrow.

These are all complementary tickets, so why not take advantage, right?! I don’t have money for a gift in the DWTL Xmas Party, so no passport for me to go there… sad…

Anyways even though this holiday is a bit sad, this “treat” for myself is making me happy! Yay… go FilmFest!!!

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Dengue Fever Symptoms & Signs

* fever check!

* rashes

* muscle aches (myalgia) check!

* joint aches (arthralgia) check!

* headache check!

* nausea check!

* vomiting

* enlarged lymph nodes (whatever the heck is this?!)

* loss of appetite check!

Hmmmm… ano, qualified kaya?

Kuya Jess… hirap na hirap na po ako!!! Ayoko na po magkasakit… I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Hmmm… not to be sounding so morbid, pero ako kaya ang susunod nyong dadalawin sa Loyola Guadalupe sa January? Hmmmm… wag naman sana. Hehe…

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Since, apparently, I’ll be receiving more money than gifts this Christmas, I’m making this wishlist with a twist. Here are all the things the money will be going to:

1. First 500-600 pesos will go to my all-new domain name, YoureWorthy.net

2. Next 400 pesos will go to my debt with Friday

3. Next 200 pesos will go into buying new headphones w/ microphone

4. Next 100 pesos will go into buying new Internet Load

5. Next a few hundred pesos will go into buying orig OPM CDs

6. Next Imaginary money will go into buying an Ipod, a Digicam, new tees and shorts, new underwear, and whatnot.

7. The rest that will still come in will go into funding our short film. ^_^

But of course, you can always give these things to me as a gift. ^_^

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Get Firefox!After a recent XP crash due to still unexplainable virus threat, I’ve finally decided to make the BIG SWITCH (no, not from any other station to MAGIC) to Mozilla Firefox, from the very security-vulnerable IE.

So far, uber good! I like the interface… I just think it doesn’t support colored scrollbars. But who da heck cares about colorful scrollbars when you’ve got high-end security protection for your PC?!

I’ve also decided to dump Norton AV for AVG Free 7.0. Boy, was it fast! :D

I hope I don’t get a crash again soon. I’ve done the partition already. Yay! Me files are now 100% protected… I hope. :D

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The stupidity of an AMA Student. Brother Reformatted PC without proper consent from me!!! Aaarrrggghhh stoooppppiiidddd!!!

Now all my cam shots are gone again. All my school documents, all my other documents, all my pics!!! The stupidity of him!

He didn’t know that we just need a fresh install of windows, retreive the files, then install windows again this time with reformatting.

But stupid old him, he reformatted and installed windows!

I’m definitely going to do partition on this drive from here on.

After I got back from lunch with the LIVEtheLIFE staff! :D

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I haven’t blogged much these days even though I had the luxury of the hours weeing away while I nonchalantly browse useless stuff on the net. It’s not that I’m neglecting my blogging, it’s just that my mind got clogged with so many things to think about that I can’t weigh down which is important and more relevant, so I decided just not to force myself to divulge information while I can’t.

Two days ago, my PC got busted. Again. It keeps on restarting itself for no particular reason at all, not letting me enter windows at all. Maybe it’s telling me to use the door? *giggles*

Anyways… there. I just wanna give you a hint on how clogged and unorganized my mind is:

PS2. Blogger. WordPress. Iconrate. Friends. Barkada. Exams. PC. Windows. Flash Drive. Film. Script. Screenplay. Competition. Economics. Food. Desserts. Autonomy. Hatred. Anger. Fury. Wrath. Binary. Jumbo and Mini. Pasta. Hard Drive. Plates. Exercises. Infomercials. PROCRASTINATION. Laziness. Classmates. Adviser. Payments. College. Entrance Exams. Responsibilities. Dues. Christmas. Lights.

Pretty rambled eh? More to come… soon.

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This day was heaven and hell for me. It is both a long and a short day. It was tiring and relaxing. It was planned and uneventful. It was funny and sad. It was silly and serious. Talk about all the oxymorons in the world, this day is my ‘oxymoron day’.

My cramming powers was tested again last night, as I hurriedly finished our Algebra project which was due today. I thought I’d end up with something worth the dump, but I managed to pull it off thanks to last minute MS from PaoloJ. His job was awesome, too, so I thought I’d give both of us a hundred for our score.

The Long and the Short

Today was the day we do the AMA Olympiad IT Quiz Bee. We had so much preparations for this stuff, tons of documents, moments of reviews and stuff. It was both strenuous and stressful, and we aren’t even on the competition itself yet! We had to undergo Medical Check-ups, Birth Certificate rummaging, Team Name thinking and other tinker totter stuff. When day of the competition arrived, we were all crossing fingers and holding our chests, trying to prevent our hearts from jumping out.

We arrived in the nick of time, exactly 8am, at the vicinty, AMA San Juan Campus. It was a bit small for a campus, but hey, it’s AMA. We had to wait for a couple of hours and minutes, since they were still setting up the place for the quiz show. At around 10:00 (whew what a long wait), the ball started rolling. And you know what, it’s so fast I want to tell you guys it ended exactly an hour after!

Bottom line, we didn’t win, ManSci bagged it again, for the second time around, with exactly the same faces, just different place and different time.

Honestly, I didn’t expect something like this from AMA. Now I’m never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never studying in ANY AMA Schools nationwide or international-wide!

Note to self: Name isn’t always everything.

Stressful time with Ron

When I’m with Ron, I feel happy. Ron is one of the people whom I can talk with both in a serious and a silly note. I don’t know, and I don’t understand either. Ron is like a brother to me. I love how platonic our relationship is.

But nowadays, when I’m with Ron, I feel stressed. I feel fast. I feel energetic. I feel tired. I can’t explain it, but he makes time drive by so fast. When I’m with Ron, an hour could feel like just a minute. Ron proves the saying that “Time flies when you’re enjoying”.

This afternoon, I had a fun time with Ron. We decided to skip class, well, not actually, we intentionally ran some errands for the Council. I accompanied him and we had a share of talks and laughs. I missed my friend Ron. Ron, I miss you!!! Hehehe… Ron is the Vice-President of our Student Council, that’s why I rarely see him in school, not even in the classroom. That’s how busy he is. That’s why I was happy when I went to run some errands with him. Even if it was tiring, it was fun!

The snap of God’s finger

This afternoon we have planned to visit Gian’s mother in Makati Medical Center. Gian dropped by the school this morning to drop off his excuse letter to our teachers. I admire Gian’s bravery and optimism, that he even managed to pull some smiles for his classmates. Gian, God will help you through this!

So I, Ron and Ma’am Olive went to Makati Medical Center. Gian’s mom was in ICU, so we had to do with seeing her over the glass window. It’s been a long time since I last stepped in Makati Med, as my dad worked there as a Ward Clerk for a couple of years. All three of us siblings were born there.

Gian wasn’t there so his father was just the one who entertained us. Gian’s family are Christians, and their church is at Victory-Galleria. When I saw Gian this morning, I admired his strength. But hearing stories from his dad, I admired him even more. I actually went on a guilt trip when I learned how responsible and obedient Gian had been all the while. Gian, I have been sooooooo wrong about you, and I don’t know if you can ever forgive me from all the torments I made you go through. Now I have learned how wrong those things I’ve done. I’m deeply sorry… ;(

Anyways, we learned that one of the nerves in Gian’s Mom’s brain snapped, which caused her to go on a deep sleep. We’re praying that she heals soon, so that their Christmas will be the best ever. May you also join us in our prayers.

All the while that Gian’s father was telling us stories of the situation of the mother, my heart felt real heavy. Gian’s Father is so faithful to God, that he trusted Him that they’ll be able to go through with this. They actually had an option to transfer to PGH so that they won’t suffer the cost, but he left us with this oh-so-striking line:

“Where will you put your faith? In money or in Me?”

Tama nga naman. If we let something suffer just because we can’t manage to make both ends meet for the lack of finances, we lose faith in God. We think of how much money will be left when we push through with something without thinking how much money we can give to actually make that something possible, just because it’s God’s Will. Again, I admired how open Christians are about their faith because of Gian’s father. He’s so faithful to God that he let Him handle the situation.

Because of this situation, I again had thought of how short life could be. Gian’s mom is only 38, and there are odd chances she won’t make it through. But through constant prayers and strong faith in God, I know, and I’m confident, that she’ll be able to make it through. Truly, one’s life can change in just a snap of God’s finger.

Beauty is in Simplicity

At around 7:00 we bid farewell to Gian’s dad already. Ma’am Olive can’t decide on what to ride home, so we called Kuya Gary to ask for possible directions. I, on the other hand, told them I’ll just take a jeepney to Makati Ave and that I knew where to go after that. They went to catch the MRT.

So I rode a jeep to Makati Avenue. With the thought of Gian’s mom still stuck in my mind, I thought of just walking home so that I could have time to think and reflect. I pulled the St. Benedict Medallion Ate Erica gave me as a souvenir for our interaction, and I held it tight in my hand. I read the prayer that came with it, with it the prayer of a safe walk home and the welfare of Gian’s mom. I held the medallion so tight in my hand, hoping that if someone decided to stab me from behind then he would be haunted by his conscience when he sees the medallion clenched tight in my hand. I started my long walk home in the Buendia-Makati Avenue intersection. I grabbed a cup of Slurpee from the nearby 7-eleven.

I checked their magazine stands for a copy of LiveTHELife. Unfortunately, I found none in there. I was hoping that it’d be distributed strategically all over the metro. All I saw were magazines about showbiz with ladies flaunting if not their faces their bodies in the covers of the mags. I was hoping to see a Kitchie Nadal cover, the cover of LiveTHELife, but my hopes failed me.

After grabbing a slurpee I walked again. Luckily, since I didn’t quite know the ins and outs of Makati, the private vehicles going in and out of minor roads led me to some familiar landmarks. My walk led me to a nearby Burger Machine, so I grabbed a Jumbo Burger to go with my Slurpee.

Then I started thinking. If not for this long walk, I won’t be able to eat and drink these things that I used to eat and drink when I was a child. I missed Burger Machine and 7-Eleven’s slurpee, and thanks to this trip, I managed to taste them again. I said to myself, “Beauty really is in Simplicity”. There are many beautiful things in this life, and all of them remained so simple that they can be easily appreciated by all. The more complicated something becomes, the less people appreciate them.

I passed by Sts. Peter and Paul Parish. Even with food and drink in hand, I said to myself that I’ll offer a prayer for Gian’s mom if the church is open. At first, seeing a dark silhouette from the front door, I thought it was closed. But God must’ve opened it for me in a split second, and in a mere second’s time also I found myself kneeling in the last pew of the Church, praying for Gian’s Mom.

There was a Praise and Worship activity going on inside the Church. Before, I thought of these things as “corny” and “awkward”, and that these things are somewhat “condemned” by the public eye. They were singing, laughing and dancing…! Though they were few, they brought down God’s house with their worship songs and praises. This time, I admired them. They managed to stand out, be unique, go with the changing times, ignored people’s comments and all, just because of their love for God. How many of us are willing to do something like this just so we could profess our faith in Him? I know I did… some few months back. ^_^

Anyways, with the medallion still clenched in my hand, I walked my way down to the boat ride we call the “tawiran”, as it literally crosses people from Mandaluyong to Makati and vice-versa via a motor-powered wooden boat. Again, I found simplicity in beauty.

My legs are almost going into cramps so I decided to ride a jeepney a few blocks from our house. I didn’t want myself to get contained in the dark few corners of the jeepney, so I looked outside all the while and admired the simple things people do to make their lives meaningful. Christmas lights, puto bumbong, a bike ride, laughs with some friends, and many others. Truly, one can appreciate beauty in simplicity. And I’ll never stop repeating that until it becomes my way of life.

“Beauty is in Simplicity.”

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Nag-uwi ang mommy ng empanada. First time kong makakatikim nito. Hindi naman ako kumakain ng empanada dati.

Pero…

Ano ang meron sa empanada at napakasarap nito? Ano ang laman nito at parang minu-minuto ay gusto kong kumain ng empanada? Ito ba’y manok, baboy, keso, cheez whiz, o peanut butter? Hindi ko alam! Ano ba ang nasa itsura ng empanada at ang sarap nyang kainin? Haaaayyy… naaadik na ata ako sa empanada!

Pero wag naman sana. Masarap ang empanada, pero ayaw ko maadik dito. Kasi kapag naadik ako sa isang bagay, madali ako magsawa. At ayoko magsawa sa empanada. Napakasarap ng empanada para pagsawaan.

O, aking empanada… ^_^

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